Well it's Sunday. My second day off in a row now, haven't had a day off in almost a month.
I feel completely lost. It seems that I don't know what to do or how to enjoy myself.
I feel like I should be working. It's all I really want to do these days.
My pup is here with me and I'm on the sofa at my parents who are out with my sister and their grandchildren.
I had planned to take her to the beach for a run and was to go in the water to help her learn to swim.
I just can't be arsed. The thought of it is filling me up with knots......
It sounds like a lovely plan, despite the fact it's 3:30pm so almost all of the useful day has gone, but all I can think about is how sad a person I am that I've given up on the thought of another relationship as I'm scared it might kill me next time if it all goes wrong and that the only thing I have left in life is working double shifts 7 days a week and playing with my puppy when I'm home.
Shoot me now.
Here's to hoping the next 40 years fly by and I won't have to worry about getting up in the morning any more.......
Tomorrow I'm in work again so will hopefully feel a little normal again. Yay........!