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Zero motivation to do anything....

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foreverempty posted 8/18/2013 09:28 AM

Well it's Sunday. My second day off in a row now, haven't had a day off in almost a month.

I feel completely lost. It seems that I don't know what to do or how to enjoy myself.

I feel like I should be working. It's all I really want to do these days.

My pup is here with me and I'm on the sofa at my parents who are out with my sister and their grandchildren.

I had planned to take her to the beach for a run and was to go in the water to help her learn to swim.

I just can't be arsed. The thought of it is filling me up with knots......

It sounds like a lovely plan, despite the fact it's 3:30pm so almost all of the useful day has gone, but all I can think about is how sad a person I am that I've given up on the thought of another relationship as I'm scared it might kill me next time if it all goes wrong and that the only thing I have left in life is working double shifts 7 days a week and playing with my puppy when I'm home.

Shoot me now.

Here's to hoping the next 40 years fly by and I won't have to worry about getting up in the morning any more.......

Tomorrow I'm in work again so will hopefully feel a little normal again. Yay........!

soveryweary posted 8/18/2013 09:31 AM

Sending you hugs from afar.
I too, am in your same place.
When I am off work, I have the most difficult times.
We are still in the same house for a few more months.
Forever, get up off that sofa and take your pup to the beach!!!!
Baby steps...

better4me posted 8/18/2013 10:19 AM

(((foreverempty)))

Can't stress this enough. You need physical activity every day. It does wonders for your mood. It helps antidepressants work better. Even if you don't feel better, you've done something good for your body. Puppies and humans need to move their bodies!

Have you been evaluated for Major Depression? Have you sought counseling? I'd encourage both of those things.

I get it. Sometimes when I am at work it is the only time I feel "normal". Life can be better than it is right now for you but you gotta take some steps...

nowiknow23 posted 8/18/2013 12:44 PM

Plain of lethal flatness, ahoy. I understand this completely, forever. I was there not too long ago.

The absolute best thing you can do is... ANYTHING. Force it. Force yourself to do something, anything, no matter how small it may seem. Do it for the puppy if you can't bring yourself to do it for yourself.

((((forever))))

persevere posted 8/18/2013 22:18 PM

I get it too fe. I find myself isolating myself lately, just stayed home all weekend. My only trip out was to shop and eat with my DD21 yesterday before she headed back to college today.

I was productive here at home though and I ran yesterday and today, but I am definitely avoiding social interaction right now.

I agree with the rest - pick one thing and do it. ((Hugs))

foreverempty posted 8/19/2013 04:43 AM

Thanks all.

Still on ADs still going to counselling but now once a month and that is coming to an end very soon as its was a free charity one I've been going to.

Put a pathetic post on Facebook yesterday which on reflection was a bit daft but summed up how I was feeling quite well......

I'm just totally, utterly and thoroughly fed up.

Hate the fact I can't have fun or enjoy myself on my own, I'm just totally incapable of it.

Realising that a dog, no matter how lush, is not a suitable replacement for a wife and daughter to spend Saturday and Sundays off with.

Life sucks like 10 tonnes of shit today.....

Tomorrow I've got to work. All will be better again as I won't have time to think about any of it with any luck.......


Hate it when I post pathetic updates, grrrrrrrrrrr.......!!!!!!!!

Thanks again for the support x

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