SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Averyhurtgirl posted 8/18/2013 15:04 PM

People and books keep telling me that I need to work on myself rather than dating someone and to wait until I am ready.

It has been one year since DD.

However, how do I work on myself and my son? Here is a list of things I am doing:

1. Building my career, new role at work,
2. Working out/have a weekly personal trainer as well
3. Looks: dressing better, lost weight, taking care of my looks, hair, nails etc.
4. Going out with friends/family, keeping connected socially.
5. Spending time with my son (playing games, taking him to the park, and all of his activities). I need to focus more on playing and spending time with him.
6. Nutrition: eating much better
7. Group therapy 1x week and individual therapy 1x week
8. This forum
9. Journaling my thoughts and changing negative statements to positive ones
10. Reading self help books on moving past my break up
11. Becoming closer to god spiritually.
12. Meditation, visual imager, breathing occasionally (I need to do more of this and schedule this in).
13. Trying to book mini trips for this year. (I have done this but need to do this more).

I have been doing these things seriously for 6-8 months now. I feel good about myself.

Any other suggestions? What else have you guys done that has helped with the healing process?

With all of this intense work, I feel I will be ready to get to know people and date in a few more months. What do you think? What else can I do to prepare for it?

mom of 2 posted 8/18/2013 15:44 PM

Sounds like you are doing everything right to me! You should be proud of yourself.

Averyhurtgirl posted 8/18/2013 18:53 PM

With all of these, would you say that I am ready to move on and start dating? I feel like I am almost there. And the other 20% I will learn and grow as I meet people since I will learn more about myself along the way.

mom of 2 posted 8/18/2013 19:11 PM

I can't answer that. How long were you married?

fireproof posted 8/18/2013 23:35 PM

That list sounds great. I would just say to make friends make or female and take things slow. If you do you can reflect- sometimes we may think we know ourselves but find ourselves acting in a different way. Just move slow if it is meant to be regardless of the defined friendship it will remain. I will be honest post divorce I have had more experiences I never would have experienced married- people are different. I am adjusting but to be honest I enjoyed my bubble. Good luck. Keep your good friends close they are my rock. Trust me they will tell you the truth

Averyhurtgirl posted 8/19/2013 01:16 AM

Thanks for all of the advice.

Mom of 2: I was married for 10 years.