WH and I are going to MC soon for the first time in months.
We went for about 6 months after D-Day 1. He lied to the therapist about the nature of the A...and also hid that there had been a preceding A.
MC was...fine. I did get a few positive things out of it for myself, mostly that her suggestions started my journey in yoga and mediation. We made some progress on the communication front - mostly setting boundaries around difficult conversations. I think we are calmer/fairer communicators overall - some of this is owed to MC, but a lot of it is our own individual work in our own personal ways.
We stopped going because of scheduling conflicts.
Then D-Day 2 happened. MC wasn't even on my radar. I'm a firm believer (now) that IC is far more important. And I hadn't committed to R anyway.
Now we're going. And my IC suggested that we outline really firm goals for what we want to get out of MC. To set the direction, especially since we've both had previous MC and 8 months of intensive IC. We're not newbies. We have the ability to walk in and set the tone, the goals (with input and guidance, of course).
For me, with the first MC - i just went in because I was desperate. Not necessarily to save the M (hadn't committed to R fully then either), but just to have someone listen to me, to him, and give us some sort of direction, even if I was in limbo. And so the MC directed - and we sort of hopped around and sometimes I didn't know what we were trying to accomplish. I'd rather that didn't happen.
What were/are some of your specific goals for MC? What did you hope to get out of it?
ETA: We'll probably do weekly or twice weekly therapy through the end of the year (it is covered by insurance and we've hit our max this year, so we're going to cram in as much as possible) and then back off to less frequency after the new year. Just to give you a sense of what we have to work with here, which is about 4 solid months.
[This message edited by RockyMtn at 3:34 PM, August 18th (Sunday)]
Me, BS, 30s
Him, WS, 30s, Steppenwolf
Kids: Yep
D-Day 1: September 2011, 6 week EA
D-Day 2: January 2013, discovered EA was a PA; there was another PA in 2010. All TT.
Goal = serenity.