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Newest Member: Mitzia (61559)

User Topic: Will this work?
♂ 36446
Member # 36446
Default  Posted: 3:42 PM, August 18th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We have had an extremely difficult few days and for the first time since the very initial discoveries my BS asked me to go to my parents for a few days, during which time she refused to talk to me. My BS has always said she never wanted time apart and felt that would be the end when she did. She made sure I could speak to DD as often as I was able to. My BS initially wanted me to be away for 3 nights but for the sake of our DD asked me to come home after 2 nights. I had really been struggling so was over the moon. When I got back things escalated quickly and my BS was reacting angrily in front of our DD which is very out of character. At this point I felt it was best for DD and I to spend some time together and let BS have some space. This wasn't received well and in hindsight I feel I shouldn't have done this and would have been better calming the situation. The prompt for the anger had been the same reason my BS had asked me to leave - details - that I honestly don't remember (previous post Details, details, details). Trying to keep this relatively brief, but my BS called me later very very upset and I said I would turn round with DD and drive straight back. BS didn't want this as DD was very excited about a night in a hotel. She then said she couldn't not be with me and knew what she had to do. My BS then said she had to give up on the remaining details for us to stand a chance. Regardless of the fact that I honestly don't know the details that are tearing her apart, I'm so scared that this could continue to destroy her and do more damage. But I am desperate for us to be together so will continue as she requests. This is a form of rug sweeping, which again goes against everything we have both read on here. I don't want anymore pain for my BS which is inevitable either way but could this work for us? We had been in a sort of 'stalemate' for weeks so this is at least a change but I'd be interested to hear others views and whether anyone else has been in a similar situation. Thanks in advance.

Me: WH 33
Wife: BS 32 (love of my life)
DD 4
Dday1: 12/03/12 and a number of others until 15/04/13, disgusted in myself

Posts: 75 | Registered: Aug 2012
♂ 36446
Member # 36446
Default  Posted: 3:44 PM, August 18th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just to add my BS came and met us and stayed in the hotel with us.

Me: WH 33
Wife: BS 32 (love of my life)
DD 4
Dday1: 12/03/12 and a number of others until 15/04/13, disgusted in myself

Posts: 75 | Registered: Aug 2012
♀ 40289
Member # 40289
Default  Posted: 4:29 PM, August 18th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As I mentioned on your previous thread I also have problems with my details. mine was Internet based with multiple men. Not an ea or pa. I posted on my first thread that is was like being at a party with 100s of ppl and trying to remember all the conversations. I remember big stuff and the gist of things but not details. We are 2.5yrs out and I wish I had found this site earlier. I wish I would have written a timeline then and ordered the transcripts which I think we could have gotten, so my bh would have had more of his questions answered. i told my bh as much as I could back then ( after about a month of TT). I barely remember anything now including how I was feeling at the time. It's very hard for bh because he remembers everything I told him and has a hard time with not having every single detail even still. Sometimes he will even tell me some detail i told him back then but i cant ever remember saying. But we are way better now and it helps that my bh knows how bad my memory has always been. We think I live life somewhat disconnected from what's going on around me, sorta floating above everything. If that makes any sense?

Be truthful with everything you know, even little stuff, write everything down, Keep slogging thru, and don't give up on your bs and R.

Good luck!

WW - early 50s (me)
BH - late 40s
3 grown children
Married 25 years
Online cyber sex dec 2010. I got caught late dec 2010. Lying and TT until full disclosure jan 2011.
In R we both are committed to staying in this M.

Posts: 76 | Registered: Aug 2013
Topic Posts: 3

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