I’ve left out lots of stuff, mostly so my post isn't too long, which It probably already is. Any input, specifically from someone who has been through anything similar, would be helpful. And please, go easy on the shorthand. It's too much for my little brain to decipher.
There is lots of hard work ahead and as long as you can keep the attitude of "I love my wife more than anything and want to make things right." You will be on the best path to making things right.
Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
Speaking for myself, my SA behavior thrived in secrecy, fantasy, and narcissistic roots. The best antidote is emotional literacy and honest talking.
A good and not expensive source of help would be group meetings of SAA. They offer experience, strength, and hope. It helps to have re
It helps to have nonjudgemental people to talk to.
Good luck with your path in growth.
I can tell you that 3 weeks in is just the begining and you are going to see your sweet trusting wife change before your very eyes. Be open honest and tell her what you want moving forward. She'll likely not believe you at all for some time... you will grieve the loss of a trusting and loving spouse as well.
I'm 4 months in to this "hell" and there are days I'm suffocating with guilt... you'll experience a lot of that too. It sounds like you're on the right track. If your wife does give you a chance to make things right, don't mess it up.
Me WW 35