Me: BH, Her: FWW - Long Term EA/PA
For some of us...our WS's apologies are just not working or are not enough.
We typically hold onto anger because we feel the person that caused the damage has not been punished and/or has not done enough to mitigate the damage.
You need to examine your feelings to determine why you are still holding onto the anger. An apology is a good step towards mitigating the damage, but as you said, this may not be enough. You are now hoping to have more of your emotional needs met, particularly greater admiration from your WH.
I recommend separating the healing process from pre-affair marital issues. That doesn't mean you still can't ask to have more of your emotional needs met, it's just a recognition that you are working on a marital issue separately from the healing process.
Once you have separated the healing process from marital issues, you can then begin to clarify in your mind what you really need from your WH to help you forgive. These would be things like maintaining NC, showing remorse, and comforting you when you are suffering emotionally as a direct result of the affair.
[This message edited by HardenMyHeart at 8:09 PM, August 18th (Sunday)]
d-day: June 25, 2007
Married 30 years, Reconciled
Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.