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The long drawn out goodbye

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risingfromashes posted 8/18/2013 19:57 PM

I started posting here a few months after Dday in 1/2004. Thought I was in R but that was a solo journey. He was off on his own "adventures".

Struggled to keep the marriage intact. In 2/2010 I knew that the universe was no longer tapping me on the head but wielding a pretty nasty nail-studded 2X4. Thick skulled I guess.

Jump to now...after 3 years of trial, pain, BS to a new all-time high..

Tonight I am going to officially sleep in the new house, in the new girly white bed with the frilly comforter...Alone and Happy to be here! I might add I have never been frilly in all of my life. We will see how long it takes for me to drop pizza and spill wine onto this pretty bedding!

2 weeks ago the 2 moving vans full of God knows what stuff followed me from the old marital home to My new one. It was like a caravan. I have never felt so small, scared or Brave in my entire life!

Tonight I have an awful cold, the AC does not want to work, I have noisy neighbors (I have been living in the woods for 24 years), an 18 yo who is pissed at me and a 15 yo whom I love but is currently less lively than a slug.

Hooray for new beginnings!

I am exhausted, having hot flashes, have thrown out major skeletal parts lifting boxes but this is MY HOME!

The place my girls will learn that having peace is the expected norm. Where their Father (as much a they love him and I will not bash him) has no presence!!!!!

There can be a new beginning in whatever form it takes for all of us.

So now I have gone Pollyanna in addition to Frilly!

Still I just want you to have HOPE.

If I can be here you can too.