I don't have too much advice because I was on the receiving side of infidelity and the betrayl.
I want to point you to the Wayward or General forum on SI. Members there have been a wayward some have R'd and some have D/S. I think you will get more responses if you posted there.
Good luck !
[This message edited by gma56 at 4:28 AM, August 19th (Monday)]