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Newest Member: Higgiefire71 (49352)

User Topic: decisions, decisions
sunsetslost
♂ 39885
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 10:07 AM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've made a decision the last couple of days. I just got back from a solo vacation to scout out my new condo on the Gulf Coast. I spent a lot of time alone. I saw some family and old friends. I spent a lot of time letting go.

On the drive back it occurred to me that I don't want to be with a person that has the capacity to do this to another human being, let alone a faithful and loving husband of almost 8 years. I've read that the average R takes at least 3-5 years. She'll be in her mid 40's by then. She is not trying to string it along and has made every indication that she is moving on so I will as well. I want to start over. I want to have a family. I want to be able to trust again. I don't want to live the life of checking her phone records and emails every day. I don't want to go to bed with her and think about her actions. I don't want to be with a person that doesn't want to be with me. I deserve to love again. I deserve to be happy again. I can't have those things with her. The sadness is so overpowering but my new opportunities and new life are so exciting to think about.


Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.

Posts: 798 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: The beach.
Abbondad
♂ 37898
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 10:15 AM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sunsetslost,

I could have written this myself. All these reasons made me file for divorce from the (I thought) love of my life.

We can't live a life like the one you describe. Take the plunge and live the life you deserve.

Strength


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1884 | Registered: Dec 2012
dmari
♀ 37215
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 11:28 AM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

EXACTLY!! You have the right mindset and attitude! I especially love this line of yours "The sadness is so overpowering but my new opportunities and new life are so exciting to think about." SO TRUE! Congratulations on your decision!


I SURVIVED infidelity. Me 44, DD 19, DS 16
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2622 | Registered: Oct 2012
SeanFLA
♂ 32380
Member # 32380
Default  Posted: 12:14 PM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I myself would love to just pack it all up and move out to the gulf coast...preferably the Destin area. Start all over in an area I love. But unfortunately my son is here. And until he's done with high school and on to a college of his choice I think I'm kind of stuck for now. But I do think I want to retire out that way.


BS(me) 48
WW 47
1 son 14 yrs old
Married 18 yrs, together 21 yrs

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ~ Bob Marley


Posts: 1515 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Zombie Land
Topic Posts: 4

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