I've made a decision the last couple of days. I just got back from a solo vacation to scout out my new condo on the Gulf Coast. I spent a lot of time alone. I saw some family and old friends. I spent a lot of time letting go.
On the drive back it occurred to me that I don't want to be with a person that has the capacity to do this to another human being, let alone a faithful and loving husband of almost 8 years. I've read that the average R takes at least 3-5 years. She'll be in her mid 40's by then. She is not trying to string it along and has made every indication that she is moving on so I will as well. I want to start over. I want to have a family. I want to be able to trust again. I don't want to live the life of checking her phone records and emails every day. I don't want to go to bed with her and think about her actions. I don't want to be with a person that doesn't want to be with me. I deserve to love again. I deserve to be happy again. I can't have those things with her. The sadness is so overpowering but my new opportunities and new life are so exciting to think about.