I had a nice weekend?!
First time I can say that in a while!
Remember the days when I used to enjoy spending time with my H, even if we were doing something unenjoyable (simply because we were together)? Had a moment like that this weekend. Okay, not so much a moment, as 3+ hours at a car dealership. HATE shopping for a new car; enjoyed doing something with my H that didn't involve us fighting.
It's so strange to be in a state where I know I love my husband and I know I want to make this work, and yet I still don't trust him or have a clue as to how/ when I can forgive him. While the emotional roller coaster has slowed quite a bit, I still have quite a few ups and downs throughout the day. Sometimes they even occur within seconds of each other and the sudden mood swing nearly knocks me on my ass. I seem to recover a little faster these days though.
We went out for dinner last night (Mexican - the food wasn't good, but the company was 
). When we got home, he kissed me and said, "I'm glad you decided to keep me around." Truthfully, I answered, "So am I. So far." I know we still have a lot of work to do, so I refuse to get my hopes up, but I think we're off to a decent start.
him: WH, 25
us: edging closer to R every day
married 2y, together 2.5y
1 beautiful daughter, 23m
"Someday soon, I'm going to put my life together; Win or lose, I'm starting over again."
