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Newest Member: LonelyandUnsure

New Beginnings :
From SD to NB

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 movingforward13 (original poster member #38405) posted at 4:57 PM on Monday, August 19th, 2013

I am finally looking forward to my NB. I am still in the divorce process which will be finalized mid Nov if my ex doesn't dispute anything. I don't think he will as the only thing I am asking for is a set visitation schedule and physical custody of my son. Everything else will be like we were never married, since essentially, we never had the chance to be married.

Background on my story: My ex and I were together since 2008. We had a baby late 2010 and got engaged early 2011 with a wedding date set for late 2012. He ended up getting a job in another state about two months before our wedding. One month before our wedding, he meets OW but doesn't tell her anything about me. One week before our wedding, he is conflicted and wants to call it off, but doesn't tell me why. We decide to get married but two days after the wedding I get the ILYBNILWY. Two weeks later, I find out he is sleeping with his new friend.

Long story short, I was hoping he would emerge from the "fog", but I was in my own fog. He was never a man, I always took care of him and once he found a job making more than he was use to, he replaced me. OW is ten years younger than him, a medical doctor student and is probably just using him for his money. She was unhappy once she found out about me, but stayed dating him. Things aren't happy in unicorn land though because he will text me every now as then.

I have been to IC, talked to many people about my situation and read damn near every post on here. I feel at peace, especially since my ex recently confirmed to me that he has many regrets. I know I am a good person, with faults, but I was loyal and authentic to him. Unfortunately we share a son so I can not rid him from my life, but he taught me a lot and I feel ready to see what is out there for me.

So almost nine months since I ended that relationship and on the road to healing, I have dated again few times. No one that interests me, just going out, having fun and meeting someone new, until now. I met a guy and we have been speaking for about two weeks now. He is courting me, buying me flowers and etc. and I am starting to feel that infatuation fog. I told him I want to take it slow and see where this goes but he really likes me and I feel the same in return. Who knows, maybe this was all meant to happen for a reason.

Any way, hello!

Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!

posts: 683   ·   registered: Feb. 9th, 2013   ·   location: DC
id 6454424
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better4me ( member #30341) posted at 6:22 PM on Monday, August 19th, 2013

hi and a big Welcome to the NB forum movingforward13. You'll find some really great insightful and caring people here, just like everywhere else on SI. I like that you recognize the "infatuation fog". I'm kind of in it myself right now. It is very good feeling, but like other kinds of fog,it does keep us from seeing everything clearly. But maybe that's just me. I'm reminding myself to go slowly...

You sound like you are on the right track though...healing and dealing with the aftermath of the storm.

DDay 11/17/2010 BW:58
Happily remarried!

posts: 4246   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2010   ·   location: Missouri
id 6454568
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nutmegkitty ( member #33882) posted at 6:34 PM on Monday, August 19th, 2013

Welcome to NB!

Me - happy!
2 DDs

Very happily divorced from an NPD since 2013.

posts: 4401   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2011   ·   location: MA
id 6454589
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Newlease ( member #7767) posted at 7:29 PM on Monday, August 19th, 2013

Welcome - besides healing from the A/D and now this new infatuation, are there any other NB things happening in your life?

We cheer through all the NBs: moving, career changes, etc.

NL

Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

posts: 8471   ·   registered: Aug. 1st, 2005
id 6454690
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 movingforward13 (original poster member #38405) posted at 11:30 PM on Monday, August 19th, 2013

Yes! So much has happened since DDay.

I am finishing my second degree in accounting. I am currently doing a very part time internship so I get more experience with Quickbooks.

I get two new bosses every two years and shortly I will be saying good bye to my old bosses and welcoming the new ones. I am planning on moving out of my state some time in 2014, however if me and new guy hit it off, I may change my mind. He is a cop, so I will refer to him as Mr. Officer.

Lots happened this year but I am ready to put 2013 to bed.

Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!

posts: 683   ·   registered: Feb. 9th, 2013   ·   location: DC
id 6455041
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