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HFSSC posted 8/19/2013 10:58 AM

Oh hell! I didn't realize I was in Recon. I am SO SORRY!!!! Can we move this to General and I'll repost?

I am SORRY!!!!

[This message edited by HFSSC at 11:08 AM, August 19th (Monday)]

Deeply Scared posted 8/19/2013 11:31 AM

I moved this for you

purplejacket4 posted 8/19/2013 12:35 PM

How do you feel about that?

HFSSC posted 8/19/2013 13:37 PM

Okay, I will repost my thoughts on this since DS moved it for me.

Whoreible is engaged to her new man. They didn't post ring pics, so I don't know if she ended up with the camo ring or the one that looked like mudd tires.

And how I feel about it is very conflicted. On one level, the happier she is with new guy, the less likely she is to sit around moping and romanticizing her A with my H.

On another level, though... I hope they get married and she is blissfully happy, secure and trusting. And then I hope he cheats on her and absolutely destroys her. And I hope the OW taunts her and tells her it was her fault and if she wasn't such an abusive bitch none of it would have happened.

And I hate feeling like that. Earlier, I didn't even feel bad for thinking that way. Right now, it feels yucky.

And yes, I am fully aware that if I stopped looking at their fb crap, I wouldn't even be aware of it to feel ANYTHING about. I am just not there yet, either.

niaveone posted 8/19/2013 14:24 PM

I get it. My WS heard through the grapevine that OW was getting back with her ex-husband. He told me, thinking I would be happy because she wasn't "pining away at home" anymore. I wasn't. I was livid. I wanted her pining away. I wanted her to lose everything. I certainly did not want her going back to the relationship she was in when she started up with WS. Their marriage was an open one. So I thought, "oh hell, that's just great. She gets all her worldly possessions back, live in babysitter again, and just gets to start fucking around again!"

Never in a million years would I ever think I would feel that way toward another person. But, then again, never in a million years did I think I was going to end up in this position either.

SecondHelping posted 8/19/2013 14:39 PM

And how I feel about it is very conflicted. On one level, the happier she is with new guy, the less likely she is to sit around moping and romanticizing her A with my H.

OM got married 6 months after A. I felt the same way as you. Now I feel bad for my fWW. If she finds out, she'll feel even worse...like she was used by the predator, lying, cheating cop asshole.

[This message edited by SecondHelping at 4:48 PM, August 19th (Monday)]

Want2help posted 8/19/2013 14:43 PM

s

o I don't know if she ended up with the camo ring or the one that looked like mudd tires.

LOL, our OW has these pinned to her Pinterest! She ended up with some tacky, 1980s looking Black Hills Gold set (looked like $20 garage sale set), it went perfectly with their patriotic red, white, &blue themed wedding!

Anyway, I know how you feel. OW got pregnant with a second OC and the guy actually left his own pregnant BSO to marry OW. I felt like OW was getting rewarded for getting knocked up AGAIN.

BeyondBreaking posted 8/19/2013 15:02 PM

I can completely relate, trust me.

After DD's dad and I broke up, his OW broke up with her long term boyfriend and I was thrilled. Then (somehow), she found a new boyfriend right away, had successful IVF, and got married. They had a little boy. Meanwhile, I was going through a nasty custody battle and was going to bed alone every night.

I remember looking at her FB and being absolutely FURIOUS. It felt like she got off the hook. Here her actions were negatively impacting my life and I was dealing with the fall out, while she had moved on and made herself a new family and was happy as a clam. I was FURIOUS that she had a healthy little boy and my little boy died. I love my daughter, but my heart ACHES for a son. What right does she have to have a healthy baby? She is nothing but a selfish whore and she doesn't even take care of her child. UGH...disgusting!

I eventually got to a place where I stopped looking at her FB. It took me a while, because, yes, like you, I wasn't ready to let go for a long time. I kept wanting her to fall, and I wanted to watch it happen!!! But I got to a place where I was able to say, "I trust that she will get hers eventually and I don't need to waste my life watching to make sure it happens."

I can definitely relate to how you're feeling.

I hope she plans an outdoor wedding and it pours rain. I hope someone pushes her into the cake and spills wine down the front of her dress. Better yet, I hope she is so stressed out with wedding planning, she gains 30lbs and come wedding day, her dress doesn't zip! I hope she has a yeast infection during her entire honeymoon, and that wherever they go, it is a BOOM year for mosquitos.

(((((HFSSC)))))

mrs. duped posted 8/19/2013 16:12 PM

I completely relate. I just checked ow's fb again after reading your post. In my case she began her relationship with this new guy during or just shortly after her A with my WH. She had been engaged to this guy for awhile and has been posting pictures of her bachelorette party, and pictures of her wedding venue.

It makes me sick to think I was once that happy bride to be planning away too and what she has stolen from me.

Even so, overall I think I would still rather see her still engaged to this guy than not. It is better for us if the whore in our case is not focusing on my WH.

boontje posted 8/19/2013 18:29 PM

HF, don't waste one second feeling guilty or bad about how you feel towards Whorible. I think you have a right to process things in any way that works for you. I think we can all relate.

Ellephantastic posted 8/20/2013 11:47 AM

OW is back with her 'first love' (LMFAO - aye ok!)

But funny thing is on her facebook page, it says their anniversary is July 2012, she slept with my WBF in October 2012...oh looks like someone else is a lying cheating scumbag!

Lovedyoumore posted 8/20/2013 12:40 PM

I am conflicted as well. If she finds her other, next, not my H soulmate, then good, I hope she moves on. I would love her to grow old and die without any one loving her, but I figure that is too much to hope for.

Now, assuming they do move on to another with their hearts, they will always know deep down that an A is always possible. They will never have a fully trusting open soul because they know the other side can drop in like a sword.

Now, if she does ever get engaged, married, or just shacks up for a time, the devil on my left shoulder might whisper for me to make sure she has a sleepless night or two due to suspicious texts or messages. I just hope the angel on my right shoulder wins the argument.

mchercheur posted 8/21/2013 21:38 PM

It is not fair that OW gets to happily go on with her life unscathed, after she has stolen so much from us, and we BWs are in pain everyday.

guarded posted 8/23/2013 10:53 AM

Don't feel bad. I just felt gleeful to see a picture of McTrash that she posted and it made me happy to see that she just looks soo much older. Literally...haglike lines around her eyes and bleach blond dried out scraggily old lady hair.

I am still trying to figure out why that makes me so happy because usually age and appearances don't bother me. Maybe Bc she obviously thinks she looks pretty in the picture?

shatteredheart7 posted 8/23/2013 11:28 AM

I get it! I am always going back and forth with this.

At times I think it would be great if she was in a relationship and happy. That I would feel more secure knowing she wasn't plotting a way to get him back in her bed.

At other times I am happy because I KNOW she will never been in a serious happy committed relationship. She has been married twice, both times she was cheated on. She has been divorced for 11 or 12 yrs now. In that time she has not been in one real relationship, where she openly goes on dates..meets the family. It is always some secret relationship with a married man. She has never convinced one of them to leave their wife for her. None of them want it to be known that they are associated with her. (yeah, she whined to my DH about how she always ends up in these kinds of relationships) PLUS, she just keeps getting uglier and older looking every time I see her. She is 46 and a friend of mine that seen her thought she was in her late 60's. So I feel that she will get what she deserves, a lonely life as an old lady. Her 3 older kids really don't have anything to do with her already. I figure it is just a matter of time before her youngest doesn't either.

HurtButHopeful? posted 8/23/2013 16:01 PM

Not surprised that OW is still man-hopping.

OW in my case had already almost destroyed another couple's M two years before he met my H. After my H dumped her, she was engaged to an exconvict within months! (That really helped my H wake up to how he was just a convenient target for OW, and it wasn't truuue luurve.) I felt bad for the exconvict. Later learned that they called off the wedding...hope he did it not her. Don't know and don't care what she is up to now...as long as she stays away from my H.

womaninflux posted 8/23/2013 16:12 PM

I get what all of you are saying - and I certainly don't mean to sound like I am above it all (because I am definitely IN it all, too) - but I am really, really trying to not fall into the trap of keeping up with what OW is up to. It's pain seeking (for me) and it's just not productive or healthy (for me). Plus I don't want to give her any impression that I view her as a threat or that she had an impact on me. The sooner she is a faint memory the better for all of us (even if H and I end up D).

Sure, I've gotten a laugh or two out of some of the stuff SAWH has said about her now that she is off of a pedestal. But I am REALLY, REALLY trying to do the healthy thing for ME, which is move on with MY life vs direct my energy at hers.