We have some things in common. I also have a recovering alcoholic fWS. I think it's a little different from "regular" cheating. lol. If that makes sense. I too, work the 50 hour work week, commute, support the family financially, provide the medical benefits, pay the bills, etc.
It took 5 months and false R, mulitple times to get the entire truth. But, yes, it's hard to accept this near perfect R. For me, at least. I've been having a rough time for the last few days.
So, the way both our IC/MC break it down is that they were ALWAYS drunk during that time. Black outs, looking to drink again, etc. Their bodies were always planning the next drink...the infidelity was a bonus. Lucky us, huh.
So, I can empathize with you in the sense that we both love alcoholics. Same here, great communication, remorse, transparency, best sex ever, and he's a completely different person now that he's sober. He is 110% HERE with the boys and I. He looks forward to spending time with us insead of nursing a hang over and more lies. He helps cook, clean, plans fun family time, etc. I never imagined he would stop drinking. He's had a few slip ups, which are expected for a man who has drank 15 years of his life.
Are you in Al-anon? There's a lot to learn there about the brain disease. Plus, I don't think it's a good idea to drink in front of her. She could slip up...I'm just suggesting what our chemical dependency therapist advised. Take it our leave it. But, I know for a fact H would not be able to resist if I drank a cold one in front of him.
How is she doing with sobriety? IMO, surviving infidelity is a lot of work and heartache. Every. Day. Add it with an addicition, and it can be unbearably miserable at times...
I feel your pain.
Good luck, there Rattus.
[This message edited by libertyrocks at 2:50 PM, August 19th (Monday)]