I have. My father was amazing. Not perfect, of course, but a simply wonderful dad. So much so, that it is almost impossible for anyone to live up to him.
Most of my 'best friends' (with the exception of 2 or 3) have always been men. I have not had inappropriate relationships with them - I just love men. Regarding their goodness, character, integrity, protectiveness, compassion, etc. I guess this is what my dad showed me that a man was.
Then I found my soulmate. Nothing ever felt like that before. Then - as we started having kids, and the kids had issues, he started to withdraw. Long story short - then the infidelity.
I am / have been in such shock that this man could do such a thing. And I notice I am generalizing his behavior to all men.
I have noticed lately that any time I am watching TV or in a discussion, etc., and a man behaves badly - I am always feeling, or saying out loud (if I am alone) things like, "Leave him!" "Kick his ass out!" "That SOB!"
I have lost something more than my husband, and my marriage. I have lost my faith in men - the very creatures that I have looked up to, and adored.
Please - all you wonderful men out there - please don't think I am saying that men are bad. I am just saying that as a person who has always felt so favorable about men - it is so hard to 'feel' so differently now. My first 2 husbands were idiots and jerks, but this man was different. He was then.
I know my 'feeling' is not real. I know there are just as many wonderful men 'out there' after my husband's infidelity as there were before.
I am sad that I have noticed my 'gut' response to men 'post infidelity' is prejudice and immediate judgement.
I hate feeling this way. It is wrong - and so hurtful. To me, and to anyone that I accidently project these feelings on.
I'm sorry if anyone has taken this wrong. This is just the opposite of an attack on men.
It is just so hard - I feel like I have not only lost my marriage, but my faith in these wonderful men.
[This message edited by WhatsRight at 12:21 PM, August 19th (Monday)]