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tigrislilium posted 8/19/2013 12:15 PM

Hi All,

I have noticed how very much I rely on people putting a little bit of info about themselves in their signatures...

Ie: when I'm reading a post from someone who is having a "bad day" or who is getting "TT'd", it helps me a lot to be able to see things like:

-how old they are
-how long ago Dday(s) was
-how many kids they have and their ages
-nature of the affair (ONS? LTA? Was it with a MCO? A best friend from HS?, an old flame?)
etc..

because it helps me to know, to some degree, what stage they're in in their grief (even WSs), as well as how I can relate to their story. For instance, when I read a post from someone dealing with a ONS, I pretty much know I can't relate and have no useful input as I am dealing with 3 LTAs. (Yes, cheating is cheating, but there is a difference to the dynamics between these two types of affairs, surely...)

Is there any reason people don't include this (to me, useful) info in their signatures? Are they trying to hide from the prying eyes of a controlling spouse, or do they just feel it's not relevant?

And I love the quotes people include - some are so insightful! My favorite so far is something like: "If the best version of yourself is in the future, it's gonna stay there." I wish I could remember where I saw it - whoever has it on their signature, thanks!

RAWR!
Tigris

strongerdaybyday posted 8/19/2013 12:24 PM

I agree it's reassuring to see others stories because it makes you realize you're not alone! I didn't put my WH A story in my signature because I didn't know how to shorten the story!

DragnHeart posted 8/19/2013 12:32 PM

I didn't put my WH A story in my signature because I didn't know how to shorten the story!

This^^^^^^^

How do I condense 5 years? Actually I have been trying to figure out how to change my profile and what to include in my signature.

I agree I look at people's signature alot. I also like to make sure I check their gender. Had assumed one person was male all this time only to realize they are female lol. Glad I didn't refer to them as "he".

krazy8516 posted 8/19/2013 12:42 PM

See my signature line? I've been an OW, WS & a BS... I feel like I can probably relate to just about anybody's story!

tigrislilium posted 8/19/2013 12:47 PM

Thanks, all, for chiming in!

I hope more people with very little info in their signature lines see this - I can't be the only person who relies on a poster's signature as a sort of starting-point to understanding what they're going through...

Deeply Scared posted 8/19/2013 12:50 PM

Is there any reason people don't include this (to me, useful) info in their signatures? Are they trying to hide from the prying eyes of a controlling spouse, or do they just feel it's not relevant?

SI is a very public site and is listed in all the search engines. Many here like the anonymity and do not want to be found. The sig line and Profile are not required for anyone to fill out

Ostrich80 posted 8/19/2013 12:52 PM

What DS said ^^^^^
I don't like to be to specific because of this.
In fact, I got a little anxiety rush when I read this...I do worry about ow/ws not only lurking but she would be the kind that would actually make a profile. Guess I'm a little paranoid

[This message edited by Ostrich80 at 12:56 PM, August 19th (Monday)]

DWBH posted 8/19/2013 14:27 PM

I agree Tigris, it's one of the first things I scan when reading a post by someone I don't know.

JanaGreen posted 8/19/2013 14:29 PM

Is there any reason people don't include this (to me, useful) info in their signatures? Are they trying to hide from the prying eyes of a controlling spouse, or do they just feel it's not relevant?


I used to have all my shit written out, but I honestly just got tired of looking at it. It didn't exactly trigger me, but it put a damper on my mood. So I took it out.

SoVerySadNow posted 8/19/2013 14:42 PM

I'm unable to put too much info in, but I have put some. I unfortunately need anonymity, but am honesty not trying to hide from true SI members.

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