Well he has been in touch sporadically and today, he asked me if I wanted to go meet his dog sometime this week. I replied and said yes, and he suggested Thursday which is odd because that's the day I was also thinking.
But there is a problem.
I assume that he means me going to his house. I am ok with that but I have only met him once. I am not sure if it will be a little awkward. I don't think he is after just sex and that certainly isn't what I am after and will certainly not be doing anything of the sort. As you could call it a second 'date' I wouldn't even feel comfortable getting to close or even kissing. So what on earth do I do if he tries something?
I am at the stage where I am still figuring out if I like him and I won't know that until I get to know him better obviously. As I said in my previous post, I wasn't 'instantly' attracted to him, but that isn't to say that I don't find him attractive either. Whichever way I look at it, I would want to take things very slowly, so how do you get that across? I don't feel I can bring that up out of the blue because as of right now, we have only met once and have chatted a bit so he may think it's weird or a bit presumptuous of me to even suggest such a thing.
Make other arrangements, like crescita said. I have no qualms about telling a guy (with a good-natured laugh) that I don't invite anyone in/ have anyone over until I know them well. I'm also very up front while dating that I don't have sex outside committed relationships.
In my senior years i am way more in control and secure about my sexual boundaries than i was when i was young. i would feel fine about saying no with a smile if someone ignored my cues and stepped in for touching or a kiss too soon, and i would mean it. i wouldnt be harsh in my expression but any persistence would end the date. No speeches about taking it slowly would be necessary on a second date, it seems presumptuous to me if nothing has happened yet. There is no relationship in my mind at this point.
I think a lot of it has to do with your own clarity of mind about what you want and how you project that.
It's not so much that I don't feel comfortable. I haven't gotten any bad vibes from him so I wouldn't be worried being there. It's more like if he does try something (anything at all) I won't know what to do to move away without it looking like I'm flinching.
he asked me if I wanted to go meet his dog sometime this week.
No reason to go to his house for second date, especially if he's gone silent for a period.
Yes, yes they do! I shall suggest the park or something if it isn't too late and is still light
Flinching comes from trying to repress a reaction. You don't have to please him, especially if he is not pleasing you. You don't have to stuff down your reaction. You are entitled to have a negative reaction to someone stepping into your space where they are not wanted.
His reaction to your 'no' is pretty important. If he's a jackass about it than adios. If he says, oops, sorry and steps back and you continue your conversation then it was just a moment of awkwardness and that's no big deal.
It's a great test in fact. How they handle your no. So don't be afraid to use it.
[This message edited by InnerLight at 6:33 PM, August 20th (Tuesday)]
From what I know of him so far, which isn't a lot, I don't 'think' he would make a move. I bloody hope not anyway!
I will just see how it goes and possibly keep my distance, that way, unless he had an extending and retractable neck, he will have no chance
