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Separation anxiety

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Nothingspecial posted 8/19/2013 17:42 PM

Hello everyone,
I've not been on in a while, it's been 8 months since D-day,
I thought we were doing well in R, I thought I was finding peace with what happened, triggers are few and far between, for the most part we are doing well,
My WH works locally and with men only and hasn't been into a bar since D-day, he's either with me or at work but now due to a career change he has to go away for two weeks for training, home at weekends,
I feel sick, it's taken me right back to D-day
I don't trust that given the opportunity ,he'd choose differently this time around (WH had 1 ONS and confessed) just this time he wouldn't tell me,
he's been doing all the right things and I honestly can't think of anything since finding out that he's said or done for me to be suspicious but I just feel so anxious,
I'm angry again, how could he do this to me, our family, I'm changed forever I hate what I've become, if he goes I feel he's laughing at me, what a fool I am,
Parents often say "I'd do anything for my kids" well "anything" is becoming to much for me, my tank is full, I can't take another drop

LosferWords posted 8/19/2013 18:49 PM

((Nothingspecial))

I'm so sorry you are feeling this hurt. Has your husband offered up any ways to make you feel safe when you are on this trip?

I know there's a lot of folks here who have to deal with travel while reconciling. I'm sure some of them will be on here at some point that can relate to your situation and offer advice.

Has he already made the decision on the career change - and is this a mutual decision?

Undone1 posted 8/19/2013 19:01 PM

My H travels and this creates a lot of anxiety for me as well.

We agreed on what we would do to help me feel safe:
1. Find my iphone (know passwords)
2. Skype or face time at night
3. Face time at random times when I feel anxious (can be 3 am and he has to answer)
4. Know the hotel address and phone number so I can call the room if there is a question about whether he is in his room
5. Check in on text to let me know what he and business partners are doing for dinner etc.


Last week he sent me a picture of several of them talking in a bar...it was very thoughtful. He sends sweet messages to let me know he is loving me!

This is do-able!

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