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Newest Member: ringkey89 (61884)

User Topic: What the heck is going on with me?
♀ 40368
Member # 40368
Shocked  Posted: 7:47 PM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have to preface this by saying that I'm not typically a hostile person. I have in recent weeks been "snapping" at random people. I was at a Jack in the Box and was asking one of the employees about my order as I was waiting for a while...The girl glared at me and walked off! I went off on her! I yelled in a restaurant at her lack of respect and called her names ugh... This is not something I had ever done. Today a guy made a turn on the road when it was my right of way (I think) he gave me a dirty look and shook his head... I told him in an animated way that it was my right of way!!! Then he threw a nickel or something at my car! I'm lucky he didnt shoot my angry ass. WTF is wrong with me I'm ready for war with anyone who tries me right now... I don't want to talk to strangers at the grocery store line and people in general. I'm so irritable, angry sad, frustrated and alone. BTW I'm on cymbalta and at the full dose... maybe I need to start taking my Xanax again;/ Anyone else flipping out?
BH 33
DDAY 4/1/13

Posts: 50 | Registered: Aug 2013
♀ 29972
Member # 29972
Default  Posted: 8:18 PM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think sometimes we unconsciously replace feelings of shame with a different emotion that is easier to deal with, particularly one that's outward directed. Anger is one alternative that is common.

Recovering from infidelity does involve learning to deal with very uncomfortable emotional states for a pretty long time. Sometimes my feelings track BS's apparent emotional state and sometimes they come as a result of the personal work I'm slogging through.

Something I've found that helps is any amount of meditation practice. Even if it's just a few minutes its helping me develop the ability to give myself a mental break.

There are a lot of resources on the internets that are free and can help you start a meditation practice. One book that I'm learning a lot from about why meditation works from a physiological perspective is Buddha's Brain by Rick Hanson.

This is a bumpy ride so it's good idea to start assembling a tool kit of wholesome self-soothing techniques.

Strength to you from a fellow EvolvingSoul.

Me: WS (56)
Him: Shards (51)
D-day: June 6, 2010
Last voluntary AP contact: June 23, 2010
NC Letter sent: 3/9/11

Glimmers of healing.

Posts: 858 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: A new place.
♀ 40368
Member # 40368
Default  Posted: 9:00 PM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That sounds like solid advice. Thank you so much for your insight. Loved your quote as I too feel as if I'm riding shot-gun.

Posts: 50 | Registered: Aug 2013
♀ 18449
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 11:25 PM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My H had a similar thing going on after d-day. I called it misdirected hostility. He was so angry with himself, but not in a place to feel that, at the time, so he took it out on other people.

Posts: 12215 | Registered: Mar 2008
Topic Posts: 4

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