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sobrokenhearted (original poster new member #39914) posted at 2:35 AM on Tuesday, August 20th, 2013
I am tired of waking up everyday thinking about what my WS was willing to do for another woman that he finds impossible to do for me. Phone calls all day, texting, lunches, straight to her when he got off work and willing to give up watching TV every spare minute he had off just to be able to slip away to see her or call her. I am lucky if he says 10 words to me in a day unless he needs something from me or for me to do something for him. And the only positive attention I do get is when he thinks it's time for sex. All I hear is that I am the most important person in the world and he loves me more than anything. Bullshit! It was just easier to come back to me than to have to deal with the replications that his affair has placed on our family. Do I think that he had strong feelings for the OW? Absolutely! He told everyone he was going to leave me before I found out. My heart is so broken to know that I have given this man 34 years of my life and some whore steps in and she is his total focus. I hate her....and him for all the pain I feel everyday!
BS-Me 50yrs old
WS-Him 50yrs old
OW-40yrs old
Married-32yrs
LadyQ ( member #32847) posted at 2:56 AM on Tuesday, August 20th, 2013
You'll find a new normal. It won't be the same, that's for sure. But you will get your equilibrium back one day.
Hugs...
Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...
Pippy ( member #16482) posted at 2:59 AM on Tuesday, August 20th, 2013
Yes you will feel normal again. It won't be easy or quick. You just keep working on yourself and value yourself.
Your story is terrible, a nightmare. Hugs. Your WH's lack of support and selfish adolescent behaviour during the affair is unforgivable. When you needed him most he started escaping by thinking with his little head,and you have every right to be frustrated.
I was M 30 years and he left for his secretary who is 22 years younger than me. I understand your frustration about how he had the "time" for her.
Until your WH agrees to be transparent, R cannot start. It may help to read about the 180 (Healing Library BS FAQs#11). It will help you gain the strength you need. Hugs.
I divorced him because I didn't like his girlfriend.
sobrokenhearted (original poster new member #39914) posted at 10:23 PM on Tuesday, August 20th, 2013
Thanks! I am unable to talk to anyone about how I still feel. They all look at me and say "get over it". My WH tells me " I'm not with her am I? If I wanted to be with her I would be with her. I just want to be happy with you!" EVERYTIME he says that, I want to scream liar, liar at him! That's what makes this so hard....there is so much that happened that I don't know about. And the OW and my WS has turned it all around on me and made themselves the victims. Now how crazy is that. She has threatened to have me arrested for stalking and harassment.
BS-Me 50yrs old
WS-Him 50yrs old
OW-40yrs old
Married-32yrs
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 10:29 PM on Tuesday, August 20th, 2013
And the OW and my WS has turned it all around on me and made themselves the victims. Now how crazy is that.
Mine did this too, it's because you are the scapegoat for their abhorrent behavior.
I would do the 180 and threaten that changes be made in the M or you will leave. Let HIM know YOU are no longer satisfied with the conditions of the M.
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
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