Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-

SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Basia52 (45745)

User Topic: Feeling triggery
Broken1213
♀ 39613
Member # 39613
Default  Posted: 7:56 AM, August 20th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi everyone, I need some help. For the last several days, I have been feeling really triggery. Medical procedures that were performed over the summer haven't worked and I want to contact my AP to escape. BH also spent the weekend with AP for a work trip (as you see in my profile I had an EA with my husband's former boss). So I have been thinking about AP a lot recently. I want to escape my sadness about another failed procedure and see/contact my AP. I want my fix. I haven't felt this way since D-day. I know that I'm trying to escape sadness, pain and loss in a very unhealthy way. I saw my IC last week and I see her again next week. BH knows that I'm sad and that I want to escape. He's the eternal optimist saying that we are on a path, we have a plan, everything will be okay. But today, I just don't feel that way. Thanks for letting me vent and please hit me with 2 x 4s, maybe it will snap me out of this.


WW (me) 33
BS 37
Working towards recovery after an EA

Posts: 20 | Registered: Jun 2013
jo2love
♀ 31528
Member # 31528
Red  Posted: 9:27 AM, August 20th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Broken1213 -

We don't encourage 2x4's because it makes it impossible for us to moderate. Thank you.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 9:53 AM, August 20th (Tuesday)]


Posts: 36474 | Registered: Mar 2011
NewMom0220
♀ 39036
Member # 39036
Default  Posted: 9:41 AM, August 20th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BS here...hope it's ok to post. Kudos for recognizing the reasons you are triggering and wanting to reach out to your AP. That's a big healthy step.

Can you talk through it with your BS? I would let him know first and foremost that it isn't your AP that you are missing or interested in talking to, but that there is an uneasy feeling inside of you that is making you want to do something that you don't really want to do. I think sharing this with your BH might start a good dialogue.

Can you move your IC up by a week? I think when you are going through something like this you need to arm yourself with all of the support/resources you have so you can get through this.

I'm sure some other WS' will come in with some better advice, but just know that recognizing the triggers is a big step and posting here when you have the trigger is another healthy decision.


Me: BS 37
Him: WS 37
20 month old DS
Married 5 years, together 8, DIVORCING!!! (taking forever)
DDay: 3/1/13 (4 Month PA while I was pregnant)
Sometimes all you have to do is forget what you feel and remember what you deserve.

Posts: 378 | Registered: Apr 2013
Broken1213
♀ 39613
Member # 39613
Default  Posted: 10:53 AM, August 20th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks NewMom for the advice. I'll see if I can move up my counseling date. I'm sorry jo2love about the 2 x 4 comment. I can edit my post if you would like.


WW (me) 33
BS 37
Working towards recovery after an EA

Posts: 20 | Registered: Jun 2013
jo2love
♀ 31528
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 11:12 AM, August 20th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you, but you don't need to edit it. Members will know not to throw 2x4's.

Posts: 36474 | Registered: Mar 2011
babbs
♀ 40368
Member # 40368
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, August 20th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Chin up... Already you are recognizing what makes you want to contact AP and you didn't do it. Instead you are here discussing it. IDK that I would tell BS that you are in this state. Is there anything you can ask him to do instead in order to fill that space you are feeling. IE: BS I'm feeling really vulnerable and lonely today I'd like to spend time with you just us where we can feel connected maybe we can take a walk or go to dinner etc. You will then take responsibility for yourself and not put it on your husband to figure out what to do with you when you are sad. KWIM. Consider how far you and H have come and how one bad day and another bad choice could set you back. It won't be worth it, Im sure in your heart you know that.
Be well

Posts: 50 | Registered: Aug 2013
Broken1213
♀ 39613
Member # 39613
Default  Posted: 1:00 PM, August 20th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks Babbs, that's a great idea. I told BH that I'm feeling this way and rescheduled my IC appt for tomorrow instead of next week. I like your idea of me suggesting for us to do something together. I'm such a scheduled/routine person. I need to remember to take care of me on days that I'm feeling this way.


WW (me) 33
BS 37
Working towards recovery after an EA

Posts: 20 | Registered: Jun 2013
Topic Posts: 7

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
adultry
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.