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How do I get through this one?

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devasted30 posted 8/20/2013 07:59 AM

It's my anniversary this Friday. We've been back together for almost 10 months now, but I sure don't feel like celebrating. How did you guys make it through your next anniversary date knowing what you know now?
All I can think of is the last 4 years when we celebrated our anniversary, my WS was cheating on me. How can I celebrate when I'm feeling like this? My WS is trying really hard and understands the pain he has put me through, but is a little excited about our anniversary this year - maybe because he is once again in this marriage. But, even though I'm 100% here and want this R to work, I still can't stop the thoughts. Any advise?

Tred posted 8/20/2013 08:06 AM

You can start with not celebrating your anniversary if you aren't up to it. I've watched two of them come and go since DDay...and I didn't feel like celebrating either of them. What we did instead was went away for a couple of days near, but not on, our anniversary and played golf. That will have to do for now. I hate to say it, but at this time it's just another day anymore. It used to be real special, I took a lot of effort and made sure I got the "right" annual gift - this was the first year that I didn't (it was peridot this year). Maybe someday it will mean something again, but I'm not going to force it. It's just a casualty of the affair. I wouldn't force yourself to celebrate it - your H should just be happy that you are still in the M.

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