Irrational thoughts that if i was
- had big boobs
- had long hair
- dressed differently
That wh would see me, want me.
Its ridiculous. I know plz no 2x4..
Im ripping myself a new one already.
Just insecure and feeling like shit as my birthday approaches. Not looking forward to turning 37. I feel like the last 5 yrs is a blur and like i went to sleep 32 and safe then woke up almost 37 and lost....
I suppose im having my own pre mid life crisis. Dont worry no push up bras or hoochie mama outfits in my future. I just want to pull the covers over my head and hide from the world.
I know there will always be someone prettier, younger, bigger boobs etc. that I need to be ok with me.
Oh honey love yourself!!
Be the best you can be...
That said go do your fav thing today! Treat yourself..
We have all been where you are....
Happy Birthday to us both!!!! We are BEAUTIFUL!!!!!
Finally this is R 8/14/13
Filed for divorce 5/8/15
"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.
Im olive skinned petite, fine boned, small breasted. Keep my hair in a trendy bob. Im more boy shaped.
- longer hair
- big boobs
cougar types...the women he looks at are that type young and older.
I know im attractive but im not "that" type.
Its twisted..lol. When I try to dress up or etc. wh complains. He wants to look at women who look a certain way dress a certain way but he doesnt want me his wife to dress or look that way. He doesnt want me to stand out.
Im just feeling insecure.
I can be sad and poopy or cheer up and enjoy my day as best I can.
Wish my brother was here. I need a big hug.
Apparently, I need to be 23, 5ft tall, small chested, and pear shaped.
I am none of those, so I am going to be the best me!
What an awful thing to think. So this thread got me thinking about looks and comparisons.
OW is 11 years younger, a bottle blond. My hair is naturally silver.
FWH has always claimed to prefer large-busted women. I am large-busted. OW is small.
FWH loves long hair. He hates it when my hair is shorter than shoulder length. OW has very short permed hair.
Both OW and I are somewhat overweight.
OW is tall. I am short.
I am white, OW is very white (Swedish origin).
What does this add up to? Not much. I don't think any of this matters. We can beat ourselves up over looks all we want, but it's not the reason any WH has an A. The OW was available and willing, and I don't think it mattered much what she looked like.
So let's not get down on ourselves because we're too short or tall, of a different race, long or short haired, fat or thin, large or small busted, or anything else. The A is not about our physical "deficiencies", but about our WH's brokenness.
We are fine just the way we are.
But it is hard not to make comparisons, isn't it?
D-Day: August 14, 2012
9 year LTA with former co-worker and family "friend"/7 years EA+PA, 2 more years EA
I know it came down to..she was decent enough and available and would let him have me and her.
Im just insecure over wh being such a dog.
Honestly with his mind set and behavior no decent woman attractive or not would want him.
Lol, why do I?
You are not defined by your H, and your beauty is not defined by what choices your H makes for himself.
..having seen your pics in F&G, I must protest and disagree with you about your appearance..
..you're a GREAT looking woman by anyone's standards!
..as we've so often heard, beauty is only skin deep.. white, olive, brown, black... green
..as for being 37.. crap, I'd kill to be 37 again..
..you could have 'big boobs' if you wanted them, but would you want the back pain that comes with them?? ask any large breasted woman about some of the down sides..
..make the most out of what you've got.. it's about "WHO" you are...
..maybe a spa day, and a new outfit will perk up your spirits.. but it still won't change who you are..
be kind to yourself.. your wh doesn't get to judge you by your looks.. screw that shit..
[This message edited by somanyyears at 11:41 AM, August 20th (Tuesday)]
I am sad that you're all down on yourselves. I guess it's normal to do the comparison thing, like 'what has she got that I don't?', and the answer is NOTHING!. I never compared ow to myself. Actually, when I found out who it was (we knew her and her H) I was shocked. Not because of her looks but because she was so cheap, trashy, and easy and I couldn't believe he went for that! The only common thread she and I have is that we're both females.
My H cheated because he was an immature, selfish, narcissistic man, who has an ego the size of North America and he thinks he's 'entitled' to do whatever he pleases, at whatever detrimental cost to anyone else. Because he's so 'special'. LOL!!! He found out that he's just Joe Blow after all. Joke was on him all along. He sold his soul for some "cheap fucks" as he later referred to the A.
SadFlower is right on...
The A is not about our physical "deficiencies", but about our WH's brokenness.
There really is no rhyme or reason to it!
"It was easier for him to hurt me than it was for him to turn her down"
Honestly. Fuck them for making any of us feel this way, ever!
I don't care what we look like, what we do for a living, what we wear, our skin or eye color, the level of education, or the size of our boobs. None of it matters. None of it. These OW are non-mother fucking factors. They were and are nothing but dirty holes who were able to boost the egos of these immature, selfish pigs for a little while.
My IC asked me early on, when she was trying to get across to me that this is not a contest between me and him or me and them, she asked me how I define success. I told her that I think you are a successful person if someone will miss you and remember you with nothing but love when you are gone.
You know what? I read on this site every day and I see how we all have great family and friends and kids and how some of us willingly take care of special needs kids or sick parents. I see the request for prayers for friends or family who are sick. I see a member throw out a post asking about another member who hasn't been around in a while.
All of this means that we are all good, loving and successful people. They are not. I don't care if an unremorseful wayward cures cancer - that person will forever be known for how he or she deserted the family. That will follow them until the day they are thrown in the ground. The OW will always be known as a home wrecker and a husband stealer.
Now, compare all of this to a big pair of tits and what do you have? Nothing. They are nothing compared to us.