Hey! Welcome to SI!
This really is an amazing place to work through infidelity!
the affair started 7 months after the relapse
Mine did too, not seven months, but my A's were directly related to my drug relapses.
Are you in recovery? I am and going through the step process has been amazing. It has helped me grow and change in ways I didn't know were possible. It has changed my life.
I feel like I have cheated on myself .
You have. You have compromised your morals and values in the quest to feel good about yourself. Which never works, I tried for years.
Addict thinking runs SO deep. It's so easy to get stuck in the guilt and shame spiral, and self pity.
Those will run your life until you deal with it.
He does not understand the mind of a drug addict
I do, and thankfully so does my BS.
It's a tough thing to understand.
There are 12 step programs that could help him.
FWS me 37 (recovering addict)
I never did a timeline, but I guess my best advice is just to write it all down. ALL of it, as best you can remember.
I'm sure someone will be along with better advice about the timeline
BS him 40 AFrayedKnot
Together 7 years
"Your secrets keep you sick"