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Tomorrow is my BH's and my 3 year wedding anniversary. My affair started a year before we got married. I just feel so sick to my stomach. So much anger and shame at myself for hurting so many people, especially my BH an my AP's wife. I remember my wedding day so fondly - it was a small ceremony, just family. A beautiful day with a lovely dinner after. I remember bawling my eyes out saying my vows because I was so happy to be marrying my BH, but then broke them four months later.

We had our reception for friends and extended family a few months later. My AP and his wife were there. She took all of our reception pics. I spent time this afternoon cropping all of the pics to delete her and him, along with some other ex-friends. I want to remember these days fondly, and not think about them.

I asked my BH is we were going to acknowledge our anniversary tomorrow. He said "why wouldn't we?" On Friday, we are planning to go to dinner to the restaurant we ate on our wedding day.

I love him so much. I hate that I hurt him. I'm angry because I can't explain this to him. I want him to look fondly at all the special things we did over the course of the A. In September, it will be 14 years that we've been together. I want to have many, many more years with him, making new memories.

I can relate to you. I too cheated shortly after I married and Im disgusted with myself. Our 6th year anniversary is coming up in 2 weeks and I asked DH if we will acknowledge it. He says yes half heartedly and wanted to know if I wanted to go to dinner. We will be on vaca with our kids during our anniversary so I said we can just spend time together after we put the kids down and share a glass of wine.. I don't know what to give him for our anniversary I'm thinking something heartfelt. I was thinking a collage of pictures of us together through the years but I don't want to trigger him:/

I didn't give him a gift, but I did give him a heartfelt card that he really appreciated. Dinner on Friday night should be nice.

I'm sorry you're feeling so sad. It sounds like your BH wants R.

Could you have someone take pictures of you at dinner? Then print and frame one -- maybe two copies, one for you and the other for your BH? New memory, new photo... Just a thought!