So here I am on holiday in an amazing villa on a mediterranean island....nearly 5 months since dday. And I'm out of my comfort zone, work, parents, friends. I'm feeling so sad.
I look at him and think back to when we booked this time off, he was right in the middle of his A... I asked him had he wished he was taking her and not us? Of course not, I never stopped loving you he says.
I have kept well out of his way again like the early days.
Why are you so sad when all these happy times are here he says.
I said I don't trust being happy anymore, its not important to me.
He looks sad and says sorry.
Our 17th wedding anniversary is coming up in 5 days, I cant bear to even recognise it, I know this has something to do with how low I'm feeling. Feel an idiot for not really this man after so long together.
Have moved really far from R here, what the heck is wrong with me?