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what wrong with being independent

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eyenight posted 8/20/2013 17:25 PM

I havent heard from key guy in a long time. Ive seen glimpse of him a few times, he does live less than a block away.
Last night I was doing my normal picking up the house and getting the laundry sorted. I ran a crossed a card he wrote me when we first started seeing each other. It was a wow moment. This dude was totally into me than the next not at all. I actually miss him. i don't know why the demise of his part of the relationship tells me he isnt who I want.
I have this history with the last guys I have dated they dumped me for someone else and they are either engaged or married to them. I feel like I am the tester girl or the one to figure themselves out and pretty much use me then leave when they have taken all they can from me.
I know that I am a catch. I know that I am really too independent for my own good, guys like the taking care of a woman role and I can take care of myself better than anyone I know. I reach a problem and use my resources to find a solution. I know I have a lot to offer but my guess is these guys want the damsel in distress and that is not me.
Why don't guys like very independent woman? I had to find my way at 19. I was out of the house and on my own to bootcamp and have been on my own since. I am the only child in my family that has not moved back into my parents house for a short period of time.

newnormal posted 8/20/2013 17:53 PM

They are broken, you are whole. I hear your frustration. I hope I can find guys in the future who want me for me, not my resources.

Sad in AZ posted 8/20/2013 19:13 PM

Not saying this is your case, but there is very independent and there is pushing everyone away. People like to feel needed, but sometimes it's hard to find the distinction between being a KISA and being concerned about your SO.

You will find the right guy, and when you do, you'll figure out how to react. It's a process

Amazonia posted 8/20/2013 19:21 PM

Part of it might be where you're located; not to feed into stereotypes, but a lot of the guys around you are small town and/or military, aren't they? It maybe that some of them tend toward more traditional or old fashioned "values" and gender roles.

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