Hallelujah! Holy Shit! Where's the tylenol?
Not saying this is your case, but there is very independent and there is pushing everyone away. People like to feel needed, but sometimes it's hard to find the distinction between being a KISA and being concerned about your SO.
You will find the right guy, and when you do, you'll figure out how to react. It's a process
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-62
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011