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Newest Member: sponger77 (61470)

User Topic: what wrong with being independent
♀ 39488
Member # 39488
Default  Posted: 5:25 PM, August 20th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I havent heard from key guy in a long time. Ive seen glimpse of him a few times, he does live less than a block away.
Last night I was doing my normal picking up the house and getting the laundry sorted. I ran a crossed a card he wrote me when we first started seeing each other. It was a wow moment. This dude was totally into me than the next not at all. I actually miss him. i don't know why the demise of his part of the relationship tells me he isnt who I want.
I have this history with the last guys I have dated they dumped me for someone else and they are either engaged or married to them. I feel like I am the tester girl or the one to figure themselves out and pretty much use me then leave when they have taken all they can from me.
I know that I am a catch. I know that I am really too independent for my own good, guys like the taking care of a woman role and I can take care of myself better than anyone I know. I reach a problem and use my resources to find a solution. I know I have a lot to offer but my guess is these guys want the damsel in distress and that is not me.
Why don't guys like very independent woman? I had to find my way at 19. I was out of the house and on my own to bootcamp and have been on my own since. I am the only child in my family that has not moved back into my parents house for a short period of time.

Posts: 270 | Registered: Jun 2013
♀ 21925
Member # 21925
Default  Posted: 5:53 PM, August 20th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They are broken, you are whole. I hear your frustration. I hope I can find guys in the future who want me for me, not my resources.

BS 43 (me)
FWH 48
D-day 9/07

Dont retreat, reload.
"Pull that knife out of your back - and sever the fuel line to that bus you got thrown under" Bufffalo

Posts: 1034 | Registered: Dec 2008
Sad in AZ
♀ 24239
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 7:13 PM, August 20th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not saying this is your case, but there is very independent and there is pushing everyone away. People like to feel needed, but sometimes it's hard to find the distinction between being a KISA and being concerned about your SO.

You will find the right guy, and when you do, you'll figure out how to react. It's a process

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-62
Him: WXH-62
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

Posts: 25302 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Arizona
♀ 32810
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 7:21 PM, August 20th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Part of it might be where you're located; not to feed into stereotypes, but a lot of the guys around you are small town and/or military, aren't they? It maybe that some of them tend toward more traditional or old fashioned "values" and gender roles.

"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 14447 | Registered: Jul 2011
Topic Posts: 4

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