I understand, I think.
Wh's first ow dumped him. It bothers me that another women did that to him and that he felt it.
From her, not me.
sucks, I know.
LOL, I hear ya on the 40 years.
I remember seeing the pain in my wife as her AP dumped her. I also remember observing the insane nature of her affair....the deceit that was achieved by both of them, the insane thought that what they shared was something so special, so worth the sacrifice that they continued to engage in adultery.
I also have the desire to take the low road and have felt self righteous taking the high road...even though I got there by default. I, too, have been bad right along side her as well.
My wife has failed to grant my request to draft a written statement regarding her affair. I can see how it could be therapeutic to read and re-read that.
The abject tiredness is awe-inspiring...not really sure how I keep my job at times. But God gives us what we need to survive...and that must be the reason behind this.
God be with us all.
[This message edited by blakesteele at 1:56 AM, August 21st (Wednesday)]
I'm glad I have it in writing as I'm pretty sure I'll need to read it over and over again.
Can you tell me more about this letter? I'm thinking of having my WW do this so that I can refer to it and hopefully decrease my obsessing.
He has troubles remembering things. It's a long term problem, not just during the A so I wrote him a timeline according to what I was experiencing during the whole thing because I'd done a lot of writing during that period. I then asked him when everything happened, where it happened (ow liked to tell me that the last time was in my house, on my bed), why it happened (how, considering our history, could he ave thought for one moment it would turn out okay), and when and why it stopped.
I asked about when was he planning on telling me or was he even planning to tell at all. Ow outted him so that's why I asked.
Then he could look through my line of what was going on and fill in the blanks, which he did.
I told him that I know he hides behind not remembering but I hoped he would really use my timeline to jog his memory so that I could forget. I remember every day.
So...that's what it looks like. I know he does struggle with memory, our daughter does too and has been heavily evaluated for it. He isn't faking it entirely but he does hide behind it out of habit.
I hope that helps and gives some ideas for your situation.
I had a complete meltdown the other night and was yelling about how shitty it is that he chose to destroy my image of him and us for someone he can't even remember her last name anymore :/