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Newest Member: Nonotus (48483)

User Topic: Can you learn to love again?
♀ 39584
Member # 39584
Default  Posted: 8:03 PM, August 20th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After Dday 2, my brain was telling me to leave WH, but in my heart, I still loved him and wanted to make our marriage work. After Dday 3, it seems the opposite has happened - my brain tells me that staying is best financially, best for the kids, but I am no longer sure that I love him after all he has put me through. Is it possible to fall in love with a WS again after such betrayal? I don't want to spend my life in a loveless marriage, but also want to keep my family together.

WH - 35
2.5 year LTA

Posts: 160 | Registered: Jun 2013
♀ 34677
Member # 34677
Default  Posted: 8:08 PM, August 20th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Of course it's possible! But not for me.

I think it's very individual as to whether you can move past such a betrayal to the point of falling in love again and trusting the WS completely.

I couldn't do it.

Posts: 703 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: east coast
♀ 40356
Member # 40356
Default  Posted: 9:40 PM, August 20th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would love to know the answer as well.

I did remarkabley well with forgiveness and love after dd1 and dd2 but dd3 has done me in and left me in a very bad place emotionally.

I'm still trying to hold out help for my children's sake. I just worry what it will cost me.

Me: late 30s Husband: late 30s
M 14 years, T 18
C: 8 and 10

DD 1: 3/12 numerous PA from 95-05 resulted in me confessing to brief PA prior to marriage

DD 2: 4/12 RA with prost.

DD 3: 11/12 RA with old professor

Hoping for R but doubtful

Posts: 33 | Registered: Aug 2013
♀ 39584
Member # 39584
Default  Posted: 7:51 AM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel exactly the same- forgave after Ddays 1 and 2, but now after Dday 3 feel completely different. Right now I am staying for the kids, but I know I can't do that forever. I'm worried that I don't love him anymore, and that I won't be able to get that back.

WH - 35
2.5 year LTA

Posts: 160 | Registered: Jun 2013
Topic Posts: 4

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