Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying



Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library


Contact Us
In Association with
Infidelity -
- Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
Newest Member: BrokeninSept17 (61547)

User Topic: Std testing
♀ 37225
Member # 37225
Default  Posted: 12:11 AM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I finally went to get tested and am waiting results so now I wonder - did anyone not tell their WS they tested positive for something?

Posts: 264 | Registered: Oct 2012
♀ 29541
Member # 29541
Default  Posted: 12:40 AM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you have something, why wouldn't you tell him?

I'd tell. I had a horrible urinary tract infection right around DDay. When I went to see the doctor but my doctor wasn't in and I got some crackpot guy who said, "You have an STD." WITHOUT EVEN CHECKING ME or knowing my story! He asked if there was a possibility of this, I said, "I guess... I'm not really sure. My husband..." The guy tested me for lots of things, then called me to come back the next day - I was a total wreck! A week later I ended up in the ER with a raging bladder infection accompanied with a fever, shakes, nausea. If the crackpot had treated me for a UTI, he'd have saved me hundreds of dollars - and saved my husband the ass-chewing of the century!

Posts: 1424 | Registered: Sep 2010
♀ 37225
Member # 37225
Default  Posted: 12:48 AM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can see there being a variety of reasons but the main one is because he risked my life when he had sexual relations with another person and then with me. Knowing he was exposing me to all that person had. Why would I do him the courtesy?

I could also see telling him you might want to get tested without telling him what it was. He should have to deal with having to explain the reason he needs to be tested.

I would probably tell bc then he knows but honestly would he care. If he has exposed me who's to say he wouldn't expose someone else.

I really was curious to see if people chose not to.

Posts: 264 | Registered: Oct 2012
♀ 21966
Member # 21966
Default  Posted: 2:42 AM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I made him pay for the testing and so he knew I went. I shockingly tested positive for hepatitis. I told him I tested positive for "something" and nurse said he should get full STD testing. He lied and said he already did and all was negative but wanted to know what i tested positive for. When I asked him questions to prove he had the testing, he said he went to his chiropractors sister who is a doctor, but couldn't remember her name when i asked to call her office for verification. I googled the chiropractor and eventually figured out that the sister was a DENTIST. I promptly texted him (we weren't talking at this point) "we both know that chiropractors sister could only tell me how many F'ng cavities you have! Can't believe you would lie about something so serious when I am telling you I tested positive for something. I hope you keep F'ng OW until your dick falls off"

I had to see him on business matters a week later and he showed me negative HIV results...from the day AFTER our text exchange. I simply told him that HIV is not the only std. We never talked about it again.

On a positive note (pun intended) after more thorough testing, I am actually negative for hepatitis but repeatedly test positive for antibodies, hence the false positive. It took me a harrowing 3 months for the confirmation though. I never told him that it was hepatitis or that it was a mistake.

[This message edited by ItsNotUitsMe at 2:46 AM, August 21st (Wednesday)]

Posts: 1111 | Registered: Dec 2008
♀ 39668
Member # 39668
Default  Posted: 6:31 AM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I got STD/AIDS testing on Friday afternoon. Waiting for the results.

If I have something, it's probably the only reason I'd break NC.

BS / D

Posts: 886 | Registered: Jun 2013
♀ 21101
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 7:57 AM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I believe you are under legal obligation to notify anyone you have recently been sexually intimate with. It's not like they go around making sure you told, but it is very much encouraged d/t the how many STD's are just as common as drinking water.

I did the full gammut of tests right after Dday, and I fortunately was clean. But I would have told H regardless, if nothing more than knowing he would be forced to wear a raincoat if he wanted to play in any other puddles.

Him: FWS
Kids: 18 & 20
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

Posts: 13298 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
♀ 40095
Member # 40095
Default  Posted: 8:19 AM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just found out that I have a ureaplasma infection, which is an STI. I've only been with WH in my life, so I know it came from him. I told him this morning and he got pissed. He said he was sorry, but didn't act like it. Said he didn't have time to go to the dr. I told him not to worry because it wasn't like I was going to have sex with him anytime soon.

But yes, I would definitely tell. I think you could wait if necessary for the right moment, but you should tell him. If not for the good of mankind, but at least to make him squirm.

BS: Me
WH: Husband
One daughter - 22 months
Married 11.5 years
2.5 false R's.
Status: Divorcing.
You can't pick up a turd by the clean end. Time to flush the toilet.

Posts: 253 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Somewhere on the Eastern Seaboard
♀ 34755
Member # 34755
Default  Posted: 9:17 AM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I believe in most states, you're legally obligated to tell your sexual partners if you test positive for STD's.

We had a huge scare with my husband an hepatitis. I tested negative, but for Hep B I tested immune to it. My husband suddenly started having a lot of liver issues.

I was freaking out because his 27 month LTA was from a country where hepatitis is a higher risk. I knew if he tested positive, we were going to have to contact all of his AP's to tell them.

Thankfully he did NOT have it. But legally, we would have been required to tell them. And morally? I couldn't NOT tell them.

BS - Me
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking

Posts: 2031 | Registered: Feb 2012
♀ 37225
Member # 37225
Default  Posted: 3:16 PM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The legality is state by state and mostly from what I have read it is go forward.

Posts: 264 | Registered: Oct 2012
♀ 37165
Member # 37165
Default  Posted: 5:43 PM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I got borh BV and HPV from my H's OW. Do you think I am breaking NC...NO WAY!! She should have a warning label tattooed on her forehead.

DDay 9/2011
4-6 months of TT'ing
11/2012- Thanks for the HPV!!!
Fully R'd
"Just as ripples spread out when a single pebble is dropped into water, the actions of individuals can have far-reaching effects"-

Posts: 267 | Registered: Oct 2012
♀ 26741
Member # 26741
Default  Posted: 7:01 PM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was lucky enough to get HPV which turned into level 4 dysplasia, had part of my cervix removed. Yay me! Then, he cheated again. Felt like attempted murder, for real. He did try to reassure me that he used condoms the second time, though...'cause he cared, yanno?

Nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home- nikki sixx

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.

Posts: 1514 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: clarksville, tn/ Ft Campbell
Topic Posts: 11

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
© 2002 - 2017 All Rights Reserved.