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Wish me luck. I have one last kick at the can today. My BW is having a hard time coming to terms with how I could have a LTA on someone who only supported me and encouraged me. Someone who looked after me like the small child I acted.

How could I show interest in such and opposite person compared to my BW? How could I do this to our DD? How could I lie for so long? How could I lay next to another woman? How could I say negative things about my BW?

These are some of the questions I need to answer. I'm not looking for an answer as I'm the only one that can. It all boils down to the broad answer of because I wanted to. Hopefully I can elaborate on each outstanding question and explain why I wanted to. I want to bring closure that my BW has asked for for over a year. I love her so much.

I can't help you answer, but I can wish you luck.

All I can say is be totally honest. The tt our ws give us is just ridiculous. . We can handle the truth, further lies just continue to plant the seed of distrust. Which can never lead to true "r".

It seems like a lot of questions are focused on your BW, Sam. I'm not saying it's wrong to focus on your wife. Yet at the same time, the root of the why comes from within.

What made you think it was okay to do what you did?

What was missing inside of you that you were trying to fulfill in such a dysfunctional manner? (A hint on this one: whatever was missing/broken was in that state of prior to you even meeting your wife - think back that far.)

Hope this helps. Best of luck to you.