SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

MsRukia posted 8/21/2013 10:07 AM

So WH was at Walmart yesterday and saw her. He said he avoided her and was not sure if she saw him. He then came to my work to pick up his Camel Back before picking up a buddy to go camping. As he was telling me about how uncomfy it was to see her, she texted him. She said something to the effect of "you can't avoid me forever. We live in a small town." Then this morning my phone showed a notification that she had tried to Friend me on Face Book. Gah I think the crazy is coming. I tightened up security on my FB, on WH, and now I have to figure out how to block her number. WH said he tried to block her number on his phone but had trouble. He said he wasn't going to text her back. We shall see when he gets home.

strongerdaybyday posted 8/21/2013 10:12 AM

Many cell phones have the option to block specific numbers, but there's nothing you can do if she calls from a private or blocked number.

What about changing his number altogether? My H's OW tried to friend me on fb and sent me a private msg on fb. When I didn't respond, she came to my house! Good luck (((HUGS)))

MsRukia posted 8/21/2013 10:16 AM

Stronger that's what I am worried about. She is our neighbor
Working on a moving plan, but the more unavailable we are the better. I might look into changing our numbers. I am not sure why I didn't think of that.

Rebreather posted 8/21/2013 10:20 AM

It is good he said he would not text her back, but he really needs to FEEL that deep in his bones, that nothing could make him text her back.

It's good to have plans in place. You know she is going to ramp it up, so be prepared. If she calls, he hangs up. No talking, nothing. Just hangs up. If he sees her in public and she approaches him, he turns and leaves. Period. You can work on these strategies together to ensure it is handled properly. Otherwise, he will say hi to her and then tell you "I didn't want to be rude" or whatever. He needs to embrace the rude.

strongerdaybyday posted 8/21/2013 10:21 AM

Your neighbour?..ugh..even worse

Hopefully, she'll keep herself at a distance (when it comes to you)...don't be surprised if she doesn't; just be prepared. Rebreather has some good advice too.

I feel like I got "ambushed" and had nothing intelligent to say (i was so numb i could barely respond!) there's so much i would have said if i had known he cheated/who she was (when she tried to "friend" me i didn't know who she was so i just deleted the request.)

[This message edited by strongerdaybyday at 10:23 AM, August 21st (Wednesday)]

Kelany posted 8/21/2013 10:28 AM

Each cell carrier is different. We have Verizon and I can go online and block numbers.

BeyondBreaking posted 8/21/2013 10:38 AM

I'm not sure what phone company you have, but I would take the cell phone straight into the store and have the employees show you AND WH how to block her number on the phone. If they can't do it in the store, call the phone company and have her number blocked on your account.

You can also block her from both of your FB accounts to where she can't see or contact you or try to friend you.

Additionally, I would speak to someone from the local sheriff's office and see what you need to do in order to prove harassment and get charges pressed. They will let you know if you need to send a certified letter from an attorney, etc... Did you already send her a NC letter?

Definitely screenshot and save everything that she tries in the meantime. Neighbor or not, she is not allowed to harass the two of you and she needs to respect your need for distance. I tend to be an extreamist about this issue- in my case I was able to get a restraining order against OW and my life has been NOTHING but AWESOME since I don't have to worry about her (if she violates the NC order in anyway- being closer than 500ft to me or my daughter, trying to contact either of us, OR having a third party contact us on her behalf- she goes straight to jail for 2 weeks. Do not pass go, do not collect $200). I HIGHLY recommend it.

MsRukia posted 8/21/2013 14:49 PM

He texted her back! So mad
He said basically "leave me alone."
She texted him back basically saying "you're castrated".
I will get to read the actual exchange later .
This is not going to build trust with me, I asked him not to engage her.

Girlietoo posted 8/21/2013 15:29 PM

Why oh why did he reply?? ugh! I'm so sorry. I hope he knows going forward that this constitutes breaking NC.

MsRukia posted 8/21/2013 16:07 PM

Cause he's a damn idiot who thinks it's going to get her to leave us alone. He didn't have the courtesy to discuss any response before hand. He didn't think about how I would feel about him contacting her. He just wanted again, to do it his way. Well his damn way didn't work. Now he left the house with our oldest and he feels unloved because I am pissed. What the hell?! Do you not get how stupid it was to text her back?! So pissed.

Ugh it's his damn fault he had the affair.

Rebreather posted 8/21/2013 16:10 PM

Has he written her an official NC letter?

MsRukia posted 8/21/2013 22:02 PM

No. Is there an article or link to that on here?