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I love you ... how often do you say it to your BF/GF/H/W/partner

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hexed posted 8/21/2013 13:37 PM

TG and I say it. But not a lot. Sometimes not even every day and not every time we talk. Its not a casual thing for us.

I see a lot of people who say it all the time. At the end of every phone call. My X and I did a lot of that.

What the normal? Why? Good/Bad otherwise? What are your thoughts?

AStar posted 8/21/2013 14:11 PM

There is no right or wrong amount of times to say it. Whatever you are comfortable with. And different people have different tolerances for expressing their love verbally.

Before DDay, I guess it was often, probably a minimum of 5 exchanges a day in different situations. Quite often. I would love it in the morning when the alarm went off and after WH switched it off he would roll back over and kiss me behind my ear and say I love you... Never good morning.
Now since DDay I haven't said it once. WH has said it, I just can't.

She11ybeanz posted 8/21/2013 14:12 PM

I am not in a new relationship YET... (but definitely keeping my sights on my new Spanish Doctor conquest.... ) BUT, when I was with my XWH, I said I love you all the time...but felt it kinda lost its meaning and luster and became more of an expected thing than meaningful thing.....

I noticed with Piper's sperm donor that I said it a lot less.... and I have already decided that it is not a phrase I will throw around in any future relationships.

When I say it next..... you can bet your life that I will mean each and every word... intrusively..

Dawnie posted 8/21/2013 14:16 PM

XWH and I said it daily for the first 10+ years... after that for the remaining 15 years of our relationship it was rare....

New husband and I say it several times a day: upon waking, before leaving for work, at the end of every call, a few times in between and always before we roll over to go to sleep....

Crescita posted 8/21/2013 15:56 PM

We exchange them several times a day. We both end phone conversations with family that way too. I don't think it is a big deal either way as long as you know it and feel it and don't mind hearing or saying it.

Newlease posted 8/21/2013 16:02 PM

SO and I say it multiple times a day. XWH and I said it very rarely. He was not a demonstrative type of person.

I love my SO and I love to say it and hear it.


inconnu posted 8/21/2013 18:07 PM

SO and I say it just about every day, sometimes several times a day. It is not a casual expression. We mean it, each time we say it. We both make the effort to not take what we have together for granted, a lesson we both learned from our previous marriages.

trumanshow posted 8/22/2013 07:39 AM

Said it with my STBXH 4-5x/day for 25+ years. even when he turned out to be leading a dougle life

Williesmom posted 8/22/2013 12:27 PM

With my Wxh, maybe once a week.

Since then, not to anyone.

I have been dating the current man for 8 months. I don't know if I'll every be able to say it again. To anyone.

Walt posted 8/22/2013 12:38 PM

Every day, multiple times.

This will sound a little sappy but I don't care. We moved in together about 3 months ago so it's nicest saying it waking up in the morning and going to sleep at night.

InnerLight posted 8/22/2013 14:57 PM


NaiveAgain posted 8/22/2013 15:59 PM

Several times a day, and he initiates about 80% of the time. Also, one thing he does which means a lot...>I get distracted or distance sometimes. Old traumas/wounds and I will go into my shell from time to time. If he feels me doing that, he will say I love you and if I don't answer back with full feeling, he will gently say it again and again until he brings me back. It is so important to me that he works this hard to keep a deep emotional connection and also to him.

Betrayal posted 8/22/2013 17:12 PM

H and I both say it several times a day, we both tell our parents ILY ending a phone call as well. I also tell DS3 all the time as well. I feel like you never know what could happen, so I say it because if something ever did happen those could be the last words we hear each other say kwim? Kind of corny, but saying ILY several times a day doesn't have any less meaning(for us at least). Obviously actions speak volumes, there are alot of people who say it and don't mean it, frequency is kind of an individual(couple) thing.

[This message edited by Betrayal at 5:13 PM, August 22nd (Thursday)]

Crescita posted 8/22/2013 17:26 PM

but saying ILY several times a day doesn't have any less meaning(for us at least)

Same here. I might feel differently if all the of ILYs were routine, but they aren't all said in passing.

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