What is wrong with me? Why can I not find the strength to just say "I've had enough" - because I have
had enough. I don't know how I am supposed to be OK ever again. I haven't confronted him about my discovery this morning yet, but at first I thought I was done, no more. Now, I am wondering if it should be a deal breaker.
This morning I figured out that WH must have been looking at OW's new LinkedIn account based on the other accounts people viewed who viewed her profile. It has been a constant barrage of finding out WH has broken NC of some sort for the last 8 months and I am so exhausted. I cannot keep this hyper vigilance up. And yet, here I am once again thinking I cannot end it.
If I did end it, where would I be? A 40+ year old with a preschooler having to live with my mother without a job or any prospects and so far in debt that bankruptcy is probably the only way out. I've already done the step parent role and I am not about to do that again so I may as well become a nun (except I curse too much).
I feel so useless, weak, stupid, undeserving, unlovable...you name it. Why??!!??