SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Return to Forum List

Renting separate house

You are not logged in. Login here or register.

noglamour posted 8/22/2013 07:40 AM

It has been a little over 3 weeks since dday. She doesn't want me living in our house and she has started putting my clothes into our 3rd bedroom/office.

I'm staying at our business on an air mattress and come over ever few days to our son, take a shower, etc.

We have talked about me renting a house in our neighborhood. She is fine with that.

She doesn't want me living in the house at all and she doesn't want to work on our marriage. She still checks my Facebook account though LOL

Will she change her mind in the future and want to R?

How should I be acting and what should I be doing or not be doing?

Threnody posted 8/22/2013 08:24 AM

She doesn't want me living in the house at all and she doesn't want to work on our marriage. She still checks my Facebook account though LOL

and

How should I be acting and what should I be doing or not be doing?

You might start by considering the trauma she has been through and not LOLing at the hypervigilance the trauma has caused her to react with. Please look up "Post Infidelity Stress Disorder" and go from there.

Will she change her mind in the future and want to R?

What are you doing to make her feel safe with you? What steps are you taking to find out why you cheated?

Her changing her mind will depend, in large part, on whether you find empathy for her pain and resolve whatever issues caused you to cheat.

Read the thread in this forum "What every WS should know" and read all of the Healing Library (yellow box, left side). Then sit quietly for a while and consider what has been done and said in your relationship so far, up to and including the cheating and discovery of it.

She's having a very natural reaction. She may ultimately decide this is a deal breaker for her. But you can work hard to heal yourself and work hard to help her heal at the same time. You're most likely looking at the end of your relationship if you don't heal yourself first, though.


[This message edited by Threnody at 8:25 AM, August 22nd (Thursday)]

noglamour posted 8/22/2013 08:35 AM

Threnody,

Thank you. You are right, it is not funny. I encourage her to check.

Ok, I will look up "Post Infidelity Stress Disorder"

Seems like nothing I do is making her feel same. I changed my phone number, closed down the secret email accounts. I have had 2 sessions of IC. I have another scheduled for next week.

Can you help me find "What every WS should know"?

I will read the healing library too.

What else should I be doing to heal myself?

tired girl posted 8/22/2013 08:39 AM

I just bumped "what every WS should know" to this page for you

noglamour posted 8/22/2013 09:36 AM

Thank you tired girl.
I see it now.

Return to Forum List

© 2002-2018 SurvivingInfidelity.com ®. All Rights Reserved.     Privacy Policy