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scarredforever (original poster member #23875) posted at 4:51 PM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013
I am so done. He is on POF, Plenty of Fish, for those of you who don't know.
I am just so done with this.
"Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."
Mark Twain
Me-BS 54
Him-WS 55
Together 35 years
6-5-06 Day of Reckoning
Familiarity breeds contempt.
doesitgetbetter ( member #18429) posted at 4:52 PM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013
DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - WS
Us - working on R - again
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
D-day 2 July 4, 2015, turns out he is a SAWH, status, working harder than before
May 22, 2019 -slip/relapse. He forgot he has to work forever
Tred ( member #34086) posted at 4:54 PM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013
Married: 27 years (14 @JFO) D-Day: 11/09/11"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)
confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 4:54 PM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013
Im so sorry.
(((((scarredforever)))))
BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
Getting to Happy ( member #35200) posted at 4:55 PM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013
What a drag!! I am so sorry.
Have you done the dreaded confrontation yet?
UGH!
WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...
Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown
LA44 ( member #38384) posted at 4:55 PM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013
I am so sorry. And I don't blame you.
((scarredforever))
Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear
scarredforever (original poster member #23875) posted at 5:01 PM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013
no confrontation yet, I am kind of thinking why bother?
"Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."
Mark Twain
Me-BS 54
Him-WS 55
Together 35 years
6-5-06 Day of Reckoning
Familiarity breeds contempt.
confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 5:04 PM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013
I agree...why bother?
Have him served. That will tell him all he needs to know.
BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
Sadwife222 ( member #40050) posted at 6:56 PM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013
I agree. Serve him at work without warning.
Me BW, Him WH (sosorry54)
DD 4/12/13
TT until 9/18/14
Knowing ( member #37044) posted at 7:34 PM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013
Thinking of you. Sending you wishes for strength and clarity. I'm so sorry this is happening in your life right now.
BW, R last 4 years of marriage out of 15... FINALLY, HAPPILY DIVORCING!
We are in R.
Rebreather ( member #30817) posted at 7:36 PM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013
Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Rec'd.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 7:54 PM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013
Suck. I'm sure that was a crushing moment.
I agree, have him served at work, and when he comes home he can find his shit in bags in the driveway. Oh yah, and change the locks.
I am so sorry....Sometimes you can't fix stupid.
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 7:55 PM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013
Dammit.
(((((scarredforever)))))
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
Audrina ( member #31522) posted at 8:10 PM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013
I am so sorry. :(
What are you going to do?
jjsr ( member #34353) posted at 8:44 PM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013
Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA and 10/28/15 NEW dday.
Just surviving.
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 9:29 PM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013
I am sorry
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
kansas1968 ( member #32214) posted at 9:37 PM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013
How horrible. I just cannot understand how a person could put their spouse through this again after they have seen the devastation that an affair causes. It is just beyond my comprehention.
The first time I think they just don't have a clue about how much damage cheating causes, but they damned well do after that.
So, so, sorry you have wasted six years with someone who obviously has no feelings. Hugs and good luck with your future.
Keep posting. We are always here to listen. 
Me - BS
Him - FWS
DD - December 14, 2010
Married 43 years 1/14/2011
Affair lasted 7+ years
Affair had been over for 2 years before I found out. OW sent me a letter.
Audrina ( member #31522) posted at 10:20 PM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013
Thinking about you scarredforever.
This is my worst nightmare. I can't imagine how you are feeling.
But I know what I would do in your situation if it happened to me.
Honestly, I would send him packing. He doesn't deserve you. You are worth so much more.
scarredforever (original poster member #23875) posted at 10:21 PM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013
Thanks everyone. I am just in disbelief. Bleh. I do deserve so much more.
"Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."
Mark Twain
Me-BS 54
Him-WS 55
Together 35 years
6-5-06 Day of Reckoning
Familiarity breeds contempt.
1Faith ( member #38975) posted at 10:29 PM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013
So so sorry.
But you are right. you do deserve so much more.
Be strong and know that no matter what you will be okay.
It will be hard but you will be okay.
You have already walked through the belly of hell.
Head up, shoulders back. You've done nothing wrong.
PS. I had no idea what POF was...I truly hate the internet and texting. So easy for cowards to hide. Why can't they grow up already? 
Sometimes my life feels like a test I didn't study for
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