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Newest Member: Mitzia (61559)

User Topic: Why now
♀ 39802
Member # 39802
Default  Posted: 11:06 AM, August 22nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Did you ever wonder why at this time in your life this happened?

For me--the OW picked just the "right" time to come into H's life.

In the nearly 20 years that I have known H, this period has been the most depressing for him. He was at the lowest point in his life and hated himself for many reasons. This is the most stressful period we have ever been in as well.

In pops OW to make it all better. OW was an ex girlfriend from before our marriage. He had not talked to her in 20 years. She reached out to him via an email and BAM thats all it took. He latched on to her immediately and she had all the answers to make it all better. If it were just any woman--he wouldn't have latched on so strongly. But, it was his true "friend". I know its been discussed on here that it could be any woman--but I don't think that's true in my case. It had to be her in particular for him.

I really feel if she had come back in at any earlier point he wouldn't have responded back to her.

Its just ironic that she would have picked "now" to come back in to his life.

Posts: 309 | Registered: Jul 2013
♀ 18429
Member # 18429
Default  Posted: 11:28 AM, August 22nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Honestly, I don't wonder how they popped in just at the right time. If you think about it, there are people out there everywhere, everday, who would jump at the chance to have an A. Our WS's have probably fended off several such situations, because they were stronger at the time. It's just this one time, they weren't strong enough and had an A. And it didn't have to be this particular AP, it could have been any of them, at any time.

I guess the real question is, why not before? Why were they able to avoid an A before, but not this time?

DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - WS
Us - working on R - again
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
D-day 2 July 4, 2015, turns out he is a SAWH, status, working harder than ever before, trying to fix something we thought we already had. It's

Posts: 4467 | Registered: Feb 2008
♀ 24643
Member # 24643
Default  Posted: 2:23 PM, August 22nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Beware the "Perfect Storm" theory.

Take a closer look at personal responsibility. Boundaries. Healthy coping methods.

"We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." ~J. Campbell
"In the final analysis, it is your own attitude that will make or break you, not what has happened to you." ~D. Galloway

Posts: 2144 | Registered: Jun 2009
Topic Posts: 3

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