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crazyblindsided posted 8/22/2013 11:53 AM

As my WH left to take the kids to school, I could feel a distance (similar to when he was in his A) of course I triggered. All I did was ask him a simple question, with a smile on my face mind you. "Are you doing right by me right now?"

He exploded! He jumped up and down throwing a tantrum threw his $300 sunglasses on the ground as well as his keys. He told me "Is this all you f**king think about all day long 24/7 7 days a week?" I yelled back, "yes I do think about it all day everyday do you think that I like it?" Then he mumbles something about me beating him up. Excuse me

This is not R. I know this is not R. I have an incomplete R.

I just ended up shutting the garage door in his face because I didn't want to see or hear him anymore. I don't feel anything either. normally I would be bothered by this, but now I am starting to think this is him and I'm not sure I like it.

AFrayedKnot posted 8/22/2013 12:40 PM

(((Crazyblindsided)))

tushnurse posted 8/22/2013 12:47 PM

((((CB )))))

You are right. That is not R. It takes both of you doing the work.

I am so sorry. The indifference you are feeling will allow you to get strong though. You deserve more. You know that.

(((and strength))))

crazyblindsided posted 8/22/2013 12:49 PM

The indifference you are feeling will allow you to get strong though. You deserve more. You know that.

I am getting stronger, thank you. It's the one good thing that is happening.

Sadwife222 posted 8/22/2013 13:01 PM

His anger is an inappropriate response to the lack of trust he's left you with.

crazyblindsided posted 8/22/2013 13:14 PM

His anger is an inappropriate response to the lack of trust he's left you with.

That's what it feels like. Normally I would have broke down crying for upsetting him. Now I just can't believe what I'm seeing.

rachelc posted 8/22/2013 13:22 PM

((cbs)) I can tell you're getting stronger, that's why you reacted differently this time.
Hugs!

crazyblindsided posted 8/22/2013 13:26 PM

Thanks rachelc my IC and all the peeps here at SI have helped me! I really have to say I'm not sure I would have gotten to this point without SI...

speaking of which I need to donate

doesitgetbetter posted 8/22/2013 13:29 PM

In front of the kids? Is this a healthy environment for them to be in?

crazyblindsided posted 8/22/2013 13:43 PM

In front of the kids? Is this a healthy environment for them to be in?

Yes he did do it in front of the kids. I have also acted badly in front of the kids at times. It is not healthy for them to see I agree. My tirades are over and it seems my WH's have just begun. I'm not going to take it. I can't, I have been abused in the past.

Kelany posted 8/22/2013 13:47 PM

When my husband behaved like that (actually literally jumping up and down screaming, ranting) we were in false R. This really bothers me for you.

crazyblindsided posted 8/22/2013 13:51 PM

we were in false R. This really bothers me for you.

I know I have this feeling too. I'm just not sure all my investigative methods are going to work this time. i honestly think I may need to hire a P.I. but then why bother. This sucks!

tushnurse posted 8/22/2013 13:56 PM

Do you need to investigate? You certainly aren't being treated with the love, and respect you deserve. That can be enough.

((((and strength))))

2married2quit posted 8/22/2013 14:51 PM

You're not alone. We had something similar and she asked if this is what I think about ALL THE TIME. Rug sweepers think you are one too I suppose. I think my FWW doesn't understand the extent of the damage and how long it takes to get over it.

StillStanding1 posted 8/22/2013 14:56 PM

(((cb))) So sorry.

You are strong and getting stronger. Either he does the work to heal himself and treats you the way you deserve to be treated or you move on...

Easier said than done, I know....

Best to you.

crazyblindsided posted 8/22/2013 15:01 PM

Either he does the work to heal himself and treats you the way you deserve to be treated or you move on...

Yeah this is basically how I am starting to feel. I can look back at my whole time with him and say that he always put his needs ahead of mine, always. I have done so much for this man. I believed in him. He let me down, I let myself down, it's been a real journey.

crazyblindsided posted 8/22/2013 15:13 PM

Do you need to investigate? You certainly aren't being treated with the love, and respect you deserve. That can be enough.

Thank you for the kind words. I need to start believing this myself.

tired girl posted 8/22/2013 15:47 PM

CBS.

Is what he is doing enough for you in your M?

crazyblindsided posted 8/22/2013 17:28 PM

tired girl it is interesting that you ask this because he is doing everything that I've asked him, we have full transparency and I can tell he is putting in an effort (in his way). I don't like his reactions. I think they are abrasive, rude , and oftentimes feel cruel. I can tell he wants me to be over this badly and so do I, but it's kinda hard to do when the thoughts just don't go away.

My WH came by to see me at lunch. He vented said he was having a really bad day. I said nothing. Finally I asked him what was really wrong and he said he just can't believe who he is. He said he believes he creates his own stress in his life.

He has never admitted to anything like that. By the end of our conversation we discussed that he should go back to IC for himself. I just hope he realizes it was this same stress he created for himself and then the MOW became his stress reliever.

I'm not sure what he is doing is enough.

I'm really confused lately because I'm not sure if I create drama too. I was recently just told by my doctor that I fall into the Bipolar II category. Yay me

[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 5:31 PM, August 22nd (Thursday)]

tired girl posted 8/22/2013 19:19 PM

CBS,

What Dr? Have there been tests done? Be careful about just taking this diagnosis at face value without proper testing.

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