Can I just say too? I think I told you to use this time with your brother to think of some requirements for R. And you did that! And you gave them to him!
And he FAILED, MISERABLY.
Don't go back on any of these. And if he does these 4 (INCLUDING ALL STATEMENTS), think of some more. This kind of abuse is INTOLERABLE. He was abusively isolating you from your support system, and it's going to take a LONG TIME of consistent remorsefulness and him willing to change FOR HIMSELF, not for you. And when I say "long time," I mean a long ass time of consistent, reliable actions.
Honestly, I don't see him doing nearly any of this, and I would spend some time down in S/D and asking about your next steps in dealing with someone like this. They are VERY good at manipulation, flipping things around on you, taking some of the mistakes you've made and blaming you for everything, making you somehow feel as if you deserved the abuse. It's crazy making!! Just keep your head on straight girl. Trust your gut.
The first post I saw from you, I saw a very scary situation of isolating abuse, and it's going to take a long time to break free of that and some healing on your part to realize you deserve better. And to never, NEVER let anyone treat you like that again. You are going to have to build some defenses while learning to trust the other people in your life at the same time (and some of them, unfortunately, will also let you down). It's not easy, but you are on the right path!!
Please, PLEASE, don't take any crumbs from him and think he deserves another chance right now. He was a total ASSWIPE in response to your demands. He wants control, and he's going batshit crazy that he doesn't have it over you right now.
Move forward, consult a lawyer at least to know your options. I saw you mention you have kids, so know what you should do as far as they are concerned. Don't offer him the kids unless he asks for them, and start yourself a Word document or get a journal and document EVERYTHING relating the kids, when he sees them, the days, times, phone calls, any thing he does to try to stay in touch with the kids. This will be a big help to you later. You can't refuse him the kids, but there are strategies to dealing with this..
It's time for you to be strong. It's WAY to early to see if there's any hope for this guy. Until then, heal you. If you are healed, then you will be strong and know if he is even someone you want to give another chance to.
Not sure if you're ready for this yet, but I might file for divorce if I were you. I would try to get temporary orders including visitation, child support, and exclusive use of the marital house AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. He can financially ruin you right now (max out credit cards, take out loans, etc., and you will owe half) until you file, so time to protect nestlee and the kiddos.. I do think there are advantages to filing first. You want to be driving the bus. Sorry if I'm jumping the gun here and you aren't ready for this, but I HATE him for how he has abused you, and I wish someone had given me this advice sooner..
Big hugs to you!! I'm so rooting for you!! Good luck!!