This man is so cocky and doing a power play big time but my children are paying the price. My lawyer and the judge will love (not) his behavior. He sent two extremely rude (think swear words, name calling) emails last week after not wanting to disclose that he moved from MI to NJ! The kids and I live in MN so that's an 18+ hr drive (not including stops). I didn't get CS in July so when my CS caseworker called his job on Aug 2nd, it was discovered he got a new job he didn't tell me about and still hasn't told me his contact info.
In the last EIGHT MONTHS this man has only spoken with his 4 yr old children one time and had seen them two overnights prior to taking them Saturday for his three weeks with them. He shows no interest in them otherwise.
DS and DD are very attached to me which is to be expected. I told XH on Saturday when they (him and wife #3) took the kids, that I'd like to Skype on Tuesday or Wednesday. I got a text Tuesday afternoon stating the children weren't available to Skype till Thursday (today)! I called and said I'd like to at least talk to them on the phone. They got back to me on Wednesday and said they could talk on the phone last night before bed. Wednesday rolls around and I realize that why can't they Skype since it's just as easy as talking on the phone. I figured it was a power play since I'm the one that asked for Tuesday/Wednesday.
Here's how it played out when I asked about Skyping:
ME: Since talking on the phone is just as easy as logging on the computer, I'd like to Skype.
HIM/THEM: Sure, we can let you know a time to Skype tomorrow night.
ME: Why can't I Skype tonight since they're home? Even for 5-10 minutes same as a phone call.
HIM: It's not a matter of ease.....(Wife #3) has finals due all this week and needs every possible minute on the computer when daddy gets home from work. We should have everything put together for the second computer by tomorrow night so they can Skype.
ME: That is unacceptable. 'Wife #3's' homework doesn't come before me Skyping with my children. 'Wife #3' can survive 5-10 minutes off the computer. 'Wife #3' can log the children on whether you are there or not. That way she'll have the PC all to herself when you get home.
HIM: Nor does a vacation come before my parenting time, but I guess it is what it is. And since you want to follow the agreement exactly as it's written, I don't recall seeing anything about Skyping requirement on my end. So keep in mind that I am doing you a favor.....unlike you have done for me, so act accordingly.
ME: My vacation time didn't come before your parenting time. You were notified in January and of the 11 weeks you could have them. Don't worry, the change of Skyping while with you is already in the works....among other things.
You chose to take a new job instead of your children when they were available. I have the kids available to Skype when you want to. What time are they available tonight?
HIM: I already told you when they were available....I didn't say they wouldn't be available at all the whole trip, so I am baffled at your response. You do not make the children available at my beck and call, so it's funny that you would expect such. Very funny. Just seems like you enjoy conflict. One of us will let you know their availablity tomorrow. We are busy having fun....I am not longer available to text.
ME: So you are refusing to let me Skype with them even though they're available, which you stated was tonight? Since you never even inquire about Skyping, it's impossible to refuse your request. That said, rarely have they ever not been available.
I don't like conflict. You are making the conflict by not allowing me access to my children.
HIM: Denying access? Nope, just said that they are not available to Skype on s'mommy's computer, who also is not required to facilitate such. Unless you would also find it acceptable to require grandma to facilitate Skyping when I choose. You are welcome to come here and see them if you like.....I would never refuse your access to them. And I do not appreciate your attempt to do it to me. If you would like to Skype tomorrow, I will make them available, otherwise we will make other plans. Your choice! sent @ 7:26 pm
ME: So you've lived there for weeks/months and you don't have your computer set up? Highly doubt that.
So you're changing it to they now can't Skype? Your text at 6:27 pm said they could Skype and you'd be "doing me a favor". sent @ 7:29 pm
I told you that you could call and talk to the kids at GMa's when you asked (you chose not to call). They don't have Skyping capabilities as you were told. sent @ 7:32 pm
If they are now no longer allowed to Skype, I'd like to talk to them on the phone tonight. And then Skype tomorrow night. sent @ 7:44 pm.
<end of texts/contact>
I called and left a voice mail at about 8:05 last night stating I'd like to speak to my children. I didn't get to speak to my babies at all. Now my babies haven't been allowed to even speak to their mommy in five days. :( My heart hurts.
Supposedly they'll be Skyping tonight but I'm not holding my breath till it does.
This man is truly sick on so many levels. His anger and bitterness is being taken out on our children.
[This message edited by GrievingMommy at 8:28 PM, August 22nd (Thursday)]