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poll: did your xws have a post-sep or post-divorce superiority c

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Helen of Troy posted 8/22/2013 20:35 PM

Quick poll, in your situation did xws have a post break up superiority complex?

In my case, yes.
Bragging on social media, to mutual friends, etc. "Pitied" me because I didn't "have anyone", still tells everyone I want him back even when granted RO against HIM.
And infamous last words "No one will ever want you when they find out how you REALLY ARE" yes he said this to me. Hmm a lot of people think just the opposite right now including SO.

I am reading this is common among personality disordered people.

[This message edited by will get by at 8:37 PM, August 22nd (Thursday)]

Sparkles posted 8/22/2013 21:05 PM

I haven't had much contact with my stbx, but it wouldn't surprise me...

But this:

And infamous last words "No one will ever want you when they find out how you REALLY ARE" yes he said this to me.

Who the eff does that??!! What a dingleberry! I would have to guess that he's projecting. I'm glad you have a new so who appreciates you!

damncutekitty posted 8/22/2013 22:49 PM

And infamous last words "No one will ever want you when they find out how you REALLY ARE" yes he said this to me.

My XH told me I was impossible to love.

In my case, the OW dumped him a few days before I moved out. He tried to get her back but basically the A was all a game to her and once his marriage was over, so was the game. She moved onto her next victim. So he spent a lot of time being all mopey and trying to 'commiserate' with me about being lonely. Which pissed me the hell of because I was like, dude YOU DID THIS TO US.

newlysingle posted 8/22/2013 23:01 PM

The Gnat says the exact opposite of that, but with the same purpose in mind. He says things to me like "don't worry, you'll meet someone else and be happier than you were with me". Which is a veiled way of him saying "I know you're jealous that I have my skanky homewrecker and your life is just so sad and pathetic now. I wish you would just hurry up, find someone else and be happy so that I don't have to feel guilty. Everything I did will be water under the bridge when you have a new boyfriend".

Yes, I would say he has a superiority complex.

dmari posted 8/22/2013 23:26 PM

That is the definition of "projection"! What an idiot.

Housefulloflove posted 8/23/2013 20:14 PM

Yes! He became a very smug asshole who was constantly smirking and strutted like a peacock. This was coming from a guy who up until then was mostly sullen and self-deprecating.

Even though he pissed all over our relationship, he still physically stuck around until I kicked him out. He told me "YOU are the problem! YOU are the reason we can't be together!" He was sleeping with another woman but *I* was the real problem in that disordered brain of his.

Just days after kicking him out he was dumped although I didn't know it at the time. He really ramped up the crazy in response. "Things are like this because you", "You need help!", blah blah blah....
He suddenly got really, really sour and angry. He acted like he was the better partner who put up with a horrible wife all these years and in return I was acting like a bitch and treating *HIM* poorly.

In retrospect, I suspect it was because it *really* hurt him to be kicked out by his wife and dumped by his mistress within days. Rather than deal with what *HE* did he had to work extra hard to maintain the delusion that his misery wasn't due to his actions.

He was on top of the world, a smug POS who got to crush his wife and have someone new to stroke his ego and make him feel better about himself and suddenly he was a sad sack of shit again but now without a wife and kids by his side, out of his house and dumped by the woman he thought was his new start.

clralb posted 8/24/2013 02:00 AM

did xws have a post break up superiority complex

He ALWAYS had one. Bleh.

doggiemom12 posted 8/24/2013 12:48 PM

My late STBX sure did. A few days before I moved out he said he was worried that I would end up alone. I said "what do you think I will do, shrivel up and die?". I was ecstatic to be leaving him. Freedom at last!!

Less than a year later he shriveled up and died - literally. Hung himself in the garage. Guess those 4 OW didn't do it for him . . .

Artemisia posted 10/4/2013 16:18 PM

Just found this old thread and wanted to reply because it still makes me feel crazy.

For me the worst was on Facebook, of course. The very day he moved out he changed his profile pic to one of him with a big old grin and the comment,
"It's true, I am so happy!" What a jerk. I'm still not over what a jerk he is. What does he think our mutual friends and family thought?

I deleted my account right after that so I don't need to see that crap. But I'm still not over it.

Exit Wounds posted 10/4/2013 16:43 PM


Ashland13 posted 10/4/2013 19:39 PM

Yes, very much. To my face if I have to have contact he is reserved, but when I hear him in the distance, like speaking with DD in another room or on the phone or see him with other people, he is very different-jolly, boisterous, pompous. People complain about how pompous he is and to me is extremely controlling...or tries.

Sad in AZ posted 10/4/2013 21:28 PM

No. Not at all. In fact, he has a huge inferiority complex. (I guess that's an oxymoron... )

Softcentre posted 10/5/2013 01:22 AM

Well, WS is interesting.

He comes across as humble and self deprecating, HOWEVER he also believes that he is always right. He is quite happy to say sorry when he doesn't mean it because he KNOWS he is right and that's all that matters (he said this in MC)

His superiority complex at the moment consists of apologising that he has 'ruined' my life forever. But as my IC noted, he isn't sorry or he would have tried to R and also he keeps saying it so my IC says it's because he likes that he has the power to 'ruin' my life forever.

He walks around locally looking as if guilt is weighing on his shoulders (but not remorse!) unless he has the children, and then he is smiley disney dad. But when he's in the city with his friends he's party man. It's all show and 'poor me'.

The best one was a few weeks ago when within a couple of breaths he said sorry for ruining my life and then asked me not to close the door on him because it was important to him that I might be there for him in the future

gypsybird87 posted 10/5/2013 15:56 PM

Yes, my ex is definitely in this group. Its like the higher the bullshit pile grows under him, the louder he crows from on top of it.

On my bad days I find this hurtful. On better days... it's just pathetic and sort of amusing.

Vulcanized posted 10/5/2013 18:36 PM

No clue.

He did walk around acting depressed b/c I left him. Milked the sympathy card for every single inch of pity it got him.

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