Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying



Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library


Contact Us
In Association with
Infidelity -
- Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
Newest Member: Nathan (61870)

User Topic: The truth
♀ 40390
Member # 40390
Default  Posted: 9:40 PM, August 22nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It must set a person free. Here I am, unable to sleep or eat in days, and asshole ate an entire pizza and is passed out on the couch. Ain't that a bitch. I love how he, who screwed me over, can keep on keeping on, and I, an unwilling participant in this, is a wreck.

Posts: 8 | Registered: Aug 2013
♂ 23328
Member # 23328
Default  Posted: 10:15 PM, August 22nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There's a member here whose tagline for the longest time was "The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off"

Please make sure you drink water and eat something. You need to make sure your body has enough to keep going on.

Take care of yourself. There's a great future out there. It won't come to you; you have to go to it.

Posts: 5719 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX
♀ 40184
Member # 40184
Default  Posted: 10:23 PM, August 22nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((StartingOverx2)))) the best advice the folks here gave me was to put my bitch boots on and take care of me! I put those suckers on and I don't think I am ever taking them off. Remember only you can take care of you and you should be #1 in your world.

It's a long dark tunnel but there is always a light at the end...somewhere!

1st D day: Saturday July 20,2013
2nd D day....when the s**t really hit the fan and the truth came out.Saturday August 3,2013
3rd D day: Friday August 16, 2013...NC sent Friday Aug 30 4th D day NOV 11
Me: BS
Him: WH
Married 25 years....finally in R

Posts: 377 | Registered: Aug 2013
♀ 18622
Member # 18622
Default  Posted: 10:31 PM, August 22nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hugs StartingOver...

emotionalgirl your last sentence reminded me of something that gives me a tickle every time I think of it. My Dad was suffering through a bout of depression. In an effort to cheer him up I said, "Daddy, there IS a light at the end of the tunnel" He replied, "I KNOW there's a light. It's the f***ing locomotive BEHIND that light that has me worried!"

Givers need to set limits because takers never do.

Posts: 930 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Planet Earth
♂ 40222
Member # 40222
Default  Posted: 2:15 AM, August 23rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I felt the same the first month or so. I would see her sleep with no issues while I couldn't even close my eyes for a second.
Cheating has to be the ultimate selfish act.

Posts: 74 | Registered: Aug 2013
♀ 36634
Member # 36634
Default  Posted: 7:45 AM, August 23rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((StartingOver)) I a little over a year from D-day and still it seems that I am the one who suffers. Although to a much lesser degree than 6-8 months ago.To me, part of it is the no knowing. They know exactly what has happened, exactly what happening and exactly what they plan to do next while you are stuck investigating and snooping just to know about your own marriage. In my case, he felt the control, while I was stuck waiting for him to decide what HE was going to do.. Well, hell no..When I took control of my own destiny, both of our attitudes changed. I stopped being the victim, and he quickly pulled his head out of his ass!! At this point, HE is doing all of the work to keep me happy and I am no longer the victim. He has really become a much more wonderful and loving husband in every way than he was pre-affair. Not sure of all the psychology behind that...

As others have said..take care of you. 180 if you are not doing so already.
Take care of you! Eat, Drink water, go to the gym or run. Take control of your own destiny and take the focus off of him. This is what saved me and my marriage. Take care of YOU! You will be treated by others how you treat yourself.
Good luck to you.

Me: 48 BS
Married 16
True R: 12/2012
4kids(16, 13, 10, 5)+ 2 grown Step kids I love like my own

Posts: 344 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Georgia
OK now
♀ 14459
Member # 14459
Default  Posted: 8:21 AM, August 23rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As emotionalgirl said, get those bitch boots on and start defining just what your greedy WS needs to do to repair your marriage.

Posts: 2062 | Registered: May 2007 | From: NC
♀ 38975
Member # 38975
Revenge  Posted: 8:55 AM, August 23rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I completely understand.

When I first found out I was a hysterical, crying, emotional wreck.

Lost 30lbs in 5 weeks via the devastation diet

And my FWH would sleep like the dead. Many times I had thoughts of taking the iron and bludgeoning him with it while he slept so peacefully.

Talk to your doctor about antidepressants and perhaps sleeping pills.

This news takes its toll on your body, mind and soul.

You need to eat and sleep even when you feel it is impossible.

Now the focus is on YOU. Do what you need to do to start healing.

Sending hugs and prayers to you.

Sometimes my life feels like a test I didn't study for

Posts: 3411 | Registered: Apr 2013
♂ 40075
Member # 40075
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, August 23rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


1Faith couldn't have said it better. I lost 15 lbs. on the devastation diet also in the first 3-4 months.
See your doctor, don't be afraid to explain the situation, and get whatever meds. you need to ride things out until you get to the other side. Lunesta has done wonders for me.
Anti-anxiety meds help greatly also!

Me: 47; WW: 48
2 DS: 9, 14
DDay: Jan/13
Divorced and Done!--7/13

Posts: 121 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: KS
♀ 40298
Member # 40298
Default  Posted: 9:57 AM, August 23rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((SOx2)) I am 4 months out, and I am so sorry you are hurting. This is exactly what I am going through, too, though the sleepless nights are a little further between. This site will help with those sleepless hours, and you are truly safe here. Landoes has it right...this is the ultimate selfish act, and you need to be just as selfish and take care of you! Do not depend on him to make things better. I did wake my WS up several times in the middle of the night to share the thoughts that were keeping me from sleep, though.

It really will get (a bit) easier with time. I also found that you have to be careful who you share with, because sometimes people who aren't going through this have opinions that you can't deal with. I am so thankful I found out about this has helped immensely!

Take care of you!!! Sending good thoughts and peaceful nights your way!!!

Marriage isn't a test, so why cheat?

Posts: 379 | Registered: Aug 2013
♀ 40329
Member # 40329
Default  Posted: 10:34 AM, August 23rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I am in your shoes also. Only 2 weeks our from Dday & he's sleeping & eating just fine!! I've lost 10lbs already, the only sleep I've had has been courtesy of tylenol pm and it was brief.

Although it's hard to try and take care of yourself right now, even though that is what all the experienced posters here say, I know that's what we need to do. So best luck that you can try and focus on YOU!!! XOXO Hugs and I feel your pain (literally!)

BW (40)
WH (55)
Blended family, 6 kids, 1 dil & i gd
Dday 1 8/10/13 PA ONS CL whore
DDay 2 8/15/15 -TT 3 Other PA w/escorts from 2004-2013? Not sure on dates. Status - No Clue!! Calling D attorney for advice

Posts: 265 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Southwest US
♀ 40393
Member # 40393
Default  Posted: 12:03 PM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel your pain. I use to wonder how it could take WH 30 seconds to fall asleep and begin snoring like a bear - while I laid in bed crying and shaking?! Nothing more selfish than a WH. I lost 35 lbs on the devastation diet (such a fitting name). At least he slept so hard it gave me an opportunity to snoop and TRY to find out the truth about this narcissistic person. There will never be the justice BS deserves.

Me: 53
WH: 53
Married 34 years.
D-Days 3-4-12, 8-19-12
4 sons, 3 daughters
9 grandkids
D final Oct 2015

Posts: 157 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Utah
Topic Posts: 12

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
© 2002 - 2017 All Rights Reserved.