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kg201 posted 8/22/2013 22:03 PM

I just spent some time typing out a list of statements that are written from my WW's perspective as justifications for her lying and cheating on me.

I started the list with "Iím justified in lying and cheating on K, and continuing to maintain a relationship with the OM because:" I came up with 25 statements to this, most of which are things she has said, and the rest I have implied.

I am trying to decide whether to show her this list. So many of the statements seem so ludicrous and it amazes me that she can't see it (I know. The fog). Maybe in MC?

Has anyone else done something like this?

idealist posted 8/22/2013 22:44 PM

Hi K,
I notice that you have just this month registered. I am going to assume that you have only recently had your D-Day?

In the early days of such an insane and traumatic experience few waywards have walked backward to really understand what the reality of their behavior means. So, I think your 25 statements probably do show a pattern of behavior that is deluded and just somewhat crazy. But she probably isn't ready to let go of her delusions just yet. Those delusions are psychic defense amok.

This will take some time and patience - don't rush her or yourself (but don't tolerate abuse either).

I am so so so sorry for your horrible experience :-( I hope you know you are not alone!

RedWheelBarrow posted 8/23/2013 01:40 AM

What a good idea! I wish I had done this. I might still, actually. Keep it for the future, as she may not be able to see herself right now.
Would love to read your list!

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