SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

11 months since D day. 1 month till anti-versary. And I'll be honest....NOT looking forward to it. Almost as if the triggering of that day will ruin all the progress WW and I have made.

Any suggestions on how to "survive" the day?

Claim it back. Claim it for yourself. Do something either for you or with your W to claim back that day.

I had a negative anniversary not relating to infidelity and on that day one year later, I did a spiritual cleansing ceremony just for me. It does help to do something symbolic to claim back what rightfully should not be a negative day.

Good luck to you and your wife.

Yakamishi, I just went through my first antiversary, and like you, I was dreading it.

My first piece of advice is to schedule something for yourself that you will enjoy. I had an hour-long aromatherapy massage. Ahhhhh.

Unexpectedly, though, I woke up that morning in an optimistic mood. I thought more about the good things that had happened in the last year rather than the devastation I felt on D-Day.

FWH and I had a conversation that was partly painful and partly uplifting. Even though we still have issues to work out regarding the past, I found that looking towards the future helped.

I will add that FWH is remorseful and has been fully NC, and our relationship is better than it's been for quite a while. If that were not the case, focusing on the positive would not have been possible.

For me, the anticipation building up to the one year mark was way worse than the actual day itself. Once the day came, it really felt anticlimactic. I triggered a couple of times, but certain thoughts would get me through the day, like, "This day sure as hell is a lot better than it was last year.", or "One year down of knowing the truth.", or "All the pain I went through in year one is done and gone, time to move forward."

It also felt good to move forward from counting the days since d-day in months. Now I had that bigger chunk behind me.

So for me, it wasn't anything really special I did for myself, it was more mental exercises that got me through.

Good luck and take care.

I agree with Losfer Words. The build up was WAY worse than the actual day. I took my son for an EKG that day and then we started a vacation (adults only) by having dinner with my parents and dancing with some friends. My anniversary, 3 days later, was a much harder day to get through.

I was so worried like that day was going to be terrible. I set it up and expected it to be bad. Mostly I was thankful that I wasn't in the same spot that time last year. I reflected on what I learned about myself in that year. I think I psyched myself out leading up to it.

I've planned a weekend road trip with my sister, who has been a huge source of support for me. I'm putting the whole weekend on a credit card so we can stay in a nice hotel and have some spa treatments!

You and I have the same D-Day (which falls on a Sunday), so maybe get out of town with a friend?

Thanks folks.

SBS, funny, I read your post and when you said or D day lands on a Sunday, immediately thought.."No! It was a Saturday! And it was pouring rain.I remember it clearly." Heh, then I realized you were talking about the upcoming 22ND. Lol.

Funny how things stick to ya.

Thanks for the ideas and encouragement all.