I wake up every day with more anxiety and depression than the day before (hopefully the meds kick in soon). But today I decided I would start the 180. I have a workshop today so my WH was coming over to take care of the kids. When he got here this morning I didnt beg, at this i am not begging a cheater to come back. but I did tell him this morning that I won't be giving him a divorce that if he wants it he will have to take me to court (whether that's true or not I don't know but as of now it is) he can't file for irreconcilable differences because we didnt try. I said other things and he was tearing up. I was telling him that even through all my pain i know what we had and it wss worth fighting for. But then I walked away.
This afternoon when I got home I didn't say much. Answered his questions and then told him he should go. Next weekend my kids and I are moving in with my parents.
I need to put distance between me and my emotions for him which is why i wanted to start the 180. I guess deep down I am hoping that it also helps him to realize he wants to be with me too.
Any suggestions on a successful 180, it was so tempting to talk to him about my feelings or ask questions while he was here today. I just know that when my anxiety gets so bad that the only thing that relieves it, is talking or texting him.
Also, I know the 180 is meant for oneself but are there any stories of it working on the WS as well?
I started the 180 2 weeks ago, he was bothered for a day or 2 but then seemed to stop caring that I no longer wanted to talk to him. I have been feeling better but have days where it all hits me and I feel like I am drowning in sadness and self pity. I don't know if the 180 will help snap him out of it or not- so far it doesn't seem like it. But I guess it really doesn't matter, because after all is said and done, if he came crawling back, would I really want him after all he's done? I think that is the purpose of the 180- to get yourself in a better place and make peace with the situation you've been dealt and realize that you will be ok and be happy again. It's not easy to see that everyday, and some days are sure harder than others. Good luck to you and try to stay strong.
Today is day 6 of the 180 for me. It's not easy, but I can say that pushing myself to concentrate on me, has made me feel a little bit better. I don't necessarily want to do the things that I am doing, but I am forcing myself to do them. Staying busy has helped me keep my mind off of everything else, the questions, the thoughts, the feelings, his lack of all of the above.
Take each day at a time, and if you have to break the day into hours or minutes, you do that. You do what you have to, to get through each day.