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Another post has made me think and post...

My daughter. My saving grace. She is my world. I could never have imagined I would love someone do much, at first sight. I'd do anything for her. And I have. She saved me from my life. Without her, who's to know what I might have done knowing what WH was up to.

I knew I had to be strong. I had to care for her and be there no matter what.

She is the reason I stayed. Not to say others made a different decision...
I'm just saying for me, I had to do whatever means possible to keep my family intact. This was WHs first offense - had their been others or something I could not move past - my choice may have been different.

I hope we have made the necessary steps toward R for her. For us. We were always that couple. Very much in love and very happy.

I see glimpses into our future and it looks bright. We focus on her and try to squeeze in date nights as often as possible.

I sure hope so...

Our kids gave me a reason to try and were my strength on many many days.

Hoping things work out for you Pew!

I worry about a child centered marriage for one reason.... what happens after the children are out of the house? What is there left of the marriage if the marriage existed with the child at the center of it's universe? It would be like what would happen to all of the planets if the sun ever disappeared, they would all tumble off into space never to see daylight again.

Don't get me wrong, I have children, and I love them more than life. But we certainly don't focus on them, we focus on our family as a whole with the main focus on us as a couple. When the kids leave, we'll still have each other, and we are certain of that.

Just something to think of.

I know what you mean; I feel like my kids are the reasons I am staying now. I know the kids shouldn't be the only reason to stay married, but for me, they are a great starting point and a great reason to stay and try to make the marriage work.

I know exactly what you mean! My boys were just entering their teen years when my fWH had his LTA. I made the decision to give him chance after chance, for my boys but to be brutally honest - I loved the man and I just could not imagine not having him in my life. (I am and always have been financially independent so I could have packed up and left at any time) And in making that decision, I have to admit my biggest fear was - what happens when they are grown and gone(?) Well, after many DDays (because my fWH WAS a broken and selfish idiot) he finally decided to do the work to rebuild our life and marriage. We have been together 26 years now and we are happier than we have ever been. We communicate wonderfully and truly enjoy each other's company. We spend more time together just doing things than we ever did before. I won't say that the affair helped my marriage because it did not! Believe me there were many times I could have wound up in "central booking" if you know what I mean...but I am so glad that I made the decision to stay for my children. They are grown and have very happy productive lives and they both have told me that they admire my persistence in keeping our family together even when their dad didn't deserve it.

So I totally get what you are saying and I do admire your resolve.

Doesit - at a year out from dday, yes we are focusing on our daughter. She is the reason I'm working on my M. I used to say an A was a deal breaker for ME, but that's before it happened and before her.
We are doing great - working on us and our M everyday.
We were together for 8 years before our daughter and I'm certain we will move past this.