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Newest Member: 2ndtimernd (45746)

User Topic: Vajajay question? Tmi.....
sunflowergirl30
♀ 28979
Member # 28979
Default  Posted: 11:02 PM, August 23rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have heard people say vaginal births ruin your vagina...

Mow had more kids then me and had a child more recently than me. Wh said she felt different but not better or worse.

I had my last baby 15 yrs ago.
I have only been with wh...he has been with other women before me and now...while with me.

Do men really think a woman feels that much different if shes had a vaginal birth? Wh says he doesnt remember what i felt like before we had babies. He says everything is "good"

Wh took my "virginity" at 17...well sort of...i had been raped at 6 but only remember bits and pieces.

Anyhow...just wondering if someday i divorce..if another man will have a problem with my having delivered vaginally.

I had easy deliveries.


Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.
Wh-lying, cheater now 37
Me- crazy bs now 38
2 teens and a dog
Mow- married old whore now 50


1st D-day EA w/mow our realtor 4-?-2007, 2nd D-day PA w/ same mow 5-29-2010


Posts: 1109 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Pacific Northwest
heathenchristian
♀ 40060
Member # 40060
Default  Posted: 11:05 PM, August 23rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My husband has said to me that after the birth of our child 4yrs ago, I do feel different.
Not in bad way he said.
I've heard of women getting a vajajay rejeuvanation opertaion. Making it tighter and not so stretched out.


If you don't want me at my worst, maybe I won't need you at my best.
DDAY 1 - not sure but it was July, Aug or Sept 2010 (supposed bj from hooker)
DDAY 2 - 7-22-2013 she was the made up hooker

Posts: 99 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: IL
silverhopes
♀ 32753
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 11:07 PM, August 23rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Curious to know the answer too. Before I gave birth, H tried to convince me to do C-section because he didn't want me to "ruin" myself down there... One of his exes had a C-section before he met her and he marveled over her tightness. Always worry he's comparing me to her. I have no regrets about the delivery.

Anyway... Would love to know if there's a noticeable difference for guys.


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 3921 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
sunflowergirl30
♀ 28979
Member # 28979
Default  Posted: 11:19 PM, August 23rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just curious...
I wasn't "damaged" in my opinion lol

But I have heard some men think as such.

I wouldn't have it uh lol tightened though. My grandmother had 9 kids.

I know mow had kids too...

Just feels like one more strike against me as a woman.


Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.
Wh-lying, cheater now 37
Me- crazy bs now 38
2 teens and a dog
Mow- married old whore now 50


1st D-day EA w/mow our realtor 4-?-2007, 2nd D-day PA w/ same mow 5-29-2010


Posts: 1109 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Pacific Northwest
sunflowergirl30
♀ 28979
Member # 28979
Default  Posted: 11:24 PM, August 23rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What plays over and over in my head tonight is wh saying mow just felt
"Different"

Uh ok....im not a man. I have no idea what a womans vagina feels like or how "different" they are. I dont know anything about penis's.lol.... I have only been with wh.

I just feel crappy..mow is older had more kids had a baby more recently than me has had several sexual partners.

I doubt wh cared about any of that.

I feel sick


Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.
Wh-lying, cheater now 37
Me- crazy bs now 38
2 teens and a dog
Mow- married old whore now 50


1st D-day EA w/mow our realtor 4-?-2007, 2nd D-day PA w/ same mow 5-29-2010


Posts: 1109 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Pacific Northwest
MissMouseMo
♀ 38562
Member # 38562
Default  Posted: 12:29 AM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't have any answers to soothe an aching heart, but I did read about this last week in PT and it's got some scientific relevance:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/all-about-sex/201109/the-rare-truth-about-tight-and-loose-women

P.S. Some women (ahem) have aching hearts because of the opposite problem and they get tighter / *too* tight (with pain) as the age because of atrophy. We have to be loved for all of who we are - not because every one of our particulars stands up to the scrutiny of a magnifying glass!


It is the gut-wrenching, down-to-your-soul honesty that helps so much. ~paraphrased from CancunCrushed
"I edit, therefore I am." -BionicGal

Posts: 381 | Registered: Feb 2013
Lovedyoumore
♀ 35593
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 12:30 AM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Here's the deal. Every vajajay is different, just as your eyes, nose and lips are different. Yes there can be some major injuries to you during birth, but that is not the norm. Any major issues would have been addressed right after birth by your doctor.

Every vagina and surrounding area is a space that reacts to stimuli, either physical or mental. Unstimulated the vagina is rather roundish like an apple. When aroused and during intense foreplay it lengthens and becomes more narrow, like a banana. Trust me, it is all in the foreplay. If your man wants you to tighten up he better be willing to do the work it may take. You can do pelvic exercises, but generally you can still get there after vaginal birth with the right stimulation during sex.

I also had to ask what Hag was like between the legs. I am over 50 and had one c-section and one vaginal birth with stitches after a 9+ pound baby. Yes, he says the 35 year old OW (no births) was different, but she never could "grab on" like I do. Why? He did not take the time to do the proper foreplay. It was get it done just for him. She pretended to O, but he said he could tell she did not because he has felt my O's and it just was not there.

Also, a factor in all of this is the fantasy, stimulation, and titillation your WS and the AP were experiencing. Maybe just the illicit nature of having sex within an A made both of them react physically more intense than settled marital sex does. And of course, if your WS needs a red hot mess of a sexual partner, how the hell did he expect the A would affect that for the two of you?

Relax, read up on sexual health, and love your parts. Contract those muscles while driving, washing the dishes, watching TV, etc. Just watch the eyebrows. We tend to raise them up and down with each contraction. They are a dead give away.


Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.


Posts: 1585 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Southern, bless your heart
sunflowergirl30
♀ 28979
Member # 28979
Default  Posted: 12:43 AM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lol, thanks ((lovedyoumore))

Not really having sex with wh anyhow. Just feeling down.

Good info


Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.
Wh-lying, cheater now 37
Me- crazy bs now 38
2 teens and a dog
Mow- married old whore now 50


1st D-day EA w/mow our realtor 4-?-2007, 2nd D-day PA w/ same mow 5-29-2010


Posts: 1109 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Pacific Northwest
sunflowergirl30
♀ 28979
Member # 28979
Default  Posted: 12:45 AM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Was hoping to hear mens perspective..

I know that might be uncomfortable for some guys...plus they probably dont want to say the wrong thing.

Im pretty sure im ok down in my lady parts lol just feeling insecure tonight.


Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.
Wh-lying, cheater now 37
Me- crazy bs now 38
2 teens and a dog
Mow- married old whore now 50


1st D-day EA w/mow our realtor 4-?-2007, 2nd D-day PA w/ same mow 5-29-2010


Posts: 1109 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Pacific Northwest
Nature_Girl
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 1:14 AM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

http://jezebel.com/a-primer-on-what-sex-does-and-doesnt-do-to-your-vagi-500204347


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

Posts: 10026 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
keptmyword
♂ 35526
Member # 35526
Default  Posted: 1:14 AM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't believe there is really any significant difference that a man can feel after a woman has delivered a baby. I believe the difference, if any, is really felt more by the woman instead of the man - possibly due to nerve damage in the area from the birth. (Got an old friend who is an OB/GYN)

From what I know and what my married male friends have said after their wives have delivered is that "things" rebound after some time.

I'd bet that what your wayward husband is saying about you is just part of the excuse-making that waywards use to give any justification for what they have done. Honestly, you should not give it any further thought.


I Divorced Her.

Posts: 363 | Registered: May 2012
HardenMyHeart
♂ 15902
Member # 15902
Default  Posted: 1:22 AM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

my wife has had 3 vaginal births. I don't notice any difference. It's all good!


Me: BH, Her: FWW - Long Term EA/PA
d-day: June 25, 2007
Married 30 years, Reconciled

Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.


Posts: 5717 | Registered: Aug 2007
Ostrich80
34827
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 1:32 AM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would think a woman would be able to feel a difference if it were "stretched out" I had both types of deliveries and intercourse didn't feel any different..geez why can't society say a man's penis shrinks with childbirth rather than women get looser. I don't believe that. Just another reason to make mothers feel inadequate sexually. I read its a muscle and yes if you don't kiegel, the pelvic floor doesn't hold everything up properly, but loosened by childbirth? I just don't believe that.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5240 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
gonnabe2016
♀ 34823
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 1:59 AM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The fact that a vaginal birth 'ruins' a vagina seems just crazy to me. Yea, the baby passes through and stretches shit out for a bit (but it goes back). It's a muscle or cartilage or something.......I suppose that I'm no help. I had c-sections for all of my kids.

Where is PurpleJacket?


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8185 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
sunflowergirl30
♀ 28979
Member # 28979
Default  Posted: 2:55 AM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't notice a difference and wh never complained. I guess its just something I asked. As if mow had a magical vagina or something. truth is she had a vagina and thats all that mattered.

I just feel insecure about myself and my body. From the top of my head to the tips of my toes.

My vagina doesnt escape the insecurities.

Mow waxed her lady parts. I shave mine. The last year I havent and wh made a comment about my forest when I was getting out of the shower!

Its not wild! Its neat and trimmed! Wtf! I wanted to say to him if he wants a hairless pussy to go find his old whore...ass.



Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.
Wh-lying, cheater now 37
Me- crazy bs now 38
2 teens and a dog
Mow- married old whore now 50


1st D-day EA w/mow our realtor 4-?-2007, 2nd D-day PA w/ same mow 5-29-2010


Posts: 1109 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Pacific Northwest
sunflowergirl30
♀ 28979
Member # 28979
Default  Posted: 2:57 AM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know exactly why he liked her shaved...because he was going down on her. I dont care if he never does that to me ever again. I dont want his mouth on any of my lips :(

Pun intended


Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.
Wh-lying, cheater now 37
Me- crazy bs now 38
2 teens and a dog
Mow- married old whore now 50


1st D-day EA w/mow our realtor 4-?-2007, 2nd D-day PA w/ same mow 5-29-2010


Posts: 1109 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Pacific Northwest
stillstruggle
♀ 40406
Member # 40406
Default  Posted: 4:08 AM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is one of the reasons I'm afraid to have children (among others, ie. OEA & crazy in-laws). I also don't want to gain too much weight and get flabby. My brothers would insult my mom for being "fat" (she had 3 kids, incl me) & it makes me conscious, plus my H watches a lot of dirty videos & I feel like I need to keep a "porn star body" to keep his attention. It's a lot of pressure, esp since ppl practically harass me about how I need to have kids right away (esp his mom, whom I have a strained relationship w/) & ppl stop talking to me after they ask me if I have any kids and I say "no". I feel societally unaccepted w/out them, and with the OEA, why would I want any right now? I'd be nuts to, they don't deserve inheriting my problems. So I guess be judged and shunned like in the Scarlet Letter instead.

Posts: 4 | Registered: Aug 2013
bigskyblues
♂ 36759
Member # 36759
Default  Posted: 5:28 AM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My ex had four kids and there was nothing different or "worse" about it. I suspect a vaj from "unicorn" land just seems to feel different!


BH 50s
xWW 50s

Dday1 7-2012
Dday2 8-2012
Divorce 9-2012

4 kids all adults.

Married 22+ years.

I have moved on and life is good!


Posts: 273 | Registered: Sep 2012
AppleBlossom
♀ 38541
Member # 38541
Default  Posted: 6:05 AM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had three vaginal births, two with episiotomies. My vagina is just as good - if not better - than it was before. The walls of a vagina are muscle, and stretch to allow the baby out. After a few short weeks, they are back to "normal".

Now for the good news - after I had babies, sex was better. Dont know what happened, whether the G sport moved, or I became more sensitive, but orgasms are more intense, and I "feel" everything more than before.

Dont let anyone give you any crap about women who have had babies compared to those that havent.

I am 47, have had three kids, gained and lost weight, lived a bit, had a fair bit of sex (good and bad) and now I am with a loving partner and I have a sense of security about myself - sex is better than ever. And my fiance would say the same/


Posts: 154 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Australia
brokensmile322
♀ 35758
Member # 35758
Default  Posted: 6:25 AM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know...

sometimes being a woman is just shitty. And this thread is another example.

For goodness sake, we deliver these men's babies, and this is the thanks we get.

I just had this conversation with my WH. I was saying that it really does suck to be a woman. I was saying this in reference to an older couple, probably in their 70's, that walked by us at a restaurant. Time had taken its toll on both of them, but they were still holding hands.

I said to him that I just didn't think I could grow old with him. I didn't think he would be around for the long haul or when I got sick, etc.. He of course denied that to be the case. But you know what, I delivered his babies, breast fed them and have the battle scars to show. He has three kids and nothing on him changed except normal aging.

As women, we constantly compare ourselves. There will always be someone younger, tighter, skinnier, smoother, ....

From where I sit, it really is a man's world.


Me BS 42 Him WS 44
OW Coworker DDay April 7, 2012
EA on a slippery slope...

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Viktor Frankl

"When you are happy, you can forgive a great deal."


Posts: 1595 | Registered: Jun 2012
Topic Posts: 55
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