Unbeknownst to my SAWH, I saw my attorney recently. I left the office with an overwhelming sense of relief. I first went to see lawyer in March about 5 days after DD. This visit was to give him an update about where I am in the reconciliation attempt process and he gave me some insight into what I need to be working on and thinking about. It was valuable to hear his experience as someone who has seen a lot of cases with my set of issues.
SAWH even commented on how peaceful I seemed the evening I returned from the lawyer's office (as I mentioned above, he was in the dark and still is).
And obviously, it doesn't help that we got into a big fight tonight after dinner. Am I just looking for a way to get out of this M? Or is R really unattainable? I feel like as more and more of SAWH's issues are uncovered, we have less and less in common and it just seems like - as someone on here pointed out - there is a rebuilding process and we have to climb a mountain but first this huge hole to fill before we can even start to build the mountain we must climb.
I am beginning to think it is telling that I find more PEACE from visiting lawyer than I do after therapist.