Nothing. At one point, in my hurt, I expressed that he'd rarely given me anything
---holidays, birthdays, etc. often went without gifts due both to financial constraint and, later, to his lack of ...care. Seriously, my oldest was fifteen before I broke down in tears and said, "You have consistently failed to get me anything for Mother's Day for fifteen years, and this year I would like a present!" (My kids were SO eager--they had made me presents when they were little, but their father NEVER made the effort to ensure I had something after that. He considered, "Where do you want to have brunch?" sufficient--never mind that we did brunch every Sunday. After d-day, he raged that I had been SO greedy that Mother's Day, stating my desire, because "We always got flowers for the garden for Mother's Day!" Um, no. We got flowers for the garden because it was spring, and time to put flowers in the garden. And I did all the work. But you get the point--it's not that gifts were not his "language." He was very focused on his own desires. He just didn't give a shit about me. Or our kids. One of the first "reasons" out of his mouth, when asked why he had an affair, "You always spend too much on the kids at Christmas!" But enough venting--sorry. This is a sore point for me.)
He spent tens of thousands on OWs. On sex with strippers, strangers. On staying in a hotel with his "last" OW. I mean, amounts that left my family doing without for a long, long time.
I said that it would be nice if he'd get me something, anything that even approached what he'd spent on others. That he'd shown others he valued them, but never shown me.
He chose to interpret this (with help from the bitch OW who was still in his ear for the next year) as me being incredibly greedy and materialistic.
And he acted accordingly.
What would have worked? Anything--really. ANYTHING that showed he was thinking of me.
He sent flowers once after d-day, while he was pretending to be NC (and likely at OW's suggestion). They were quite pretty, and I appreciated them. But flowers are not my thing.
(If he'd planted flowers, which would have cost him a fraction of what he spent? THAT I would have loved. Or a tree. Or a bush. Something that said, "I am planting this and will be here to watch it grow with you.)
[This message edited by solus sto at 1:03 PM, August 24th (Saturday)]