**The cruelest lies are often told in silence- Robert Louis Stevenson
You said your husband has an addiction to pills and is getting help. I wanted to ask you of you have been to any nar anon meetings. It is a group for loved ones of addicts. If you haven't you may want to see if you have one in your area. It is very helpful to see that you are not alone and to hear the stories of others dealing with an addicted loved one.
I'm glad that your WH is in therapy. It's long overdue, it sounds like. How about you? You need someone to talk to as well. I highly recommend that you get some IC for yourself. I would suggest that you hold off on MC until he's weaned away from the drugs. You don't need that erratic up and down until he's stabilized from the drug use.
Listen. What you're feeling right now is normal. Your world has been turned upside down and inside out. You're going to feel betrayed, enraged, helpless, cold, hot, as if you can reconcile, as if you need to walk away, on the floor in tears, screaming in anger, up and down, and these feeling might follow each other in mere moments. This is normal. We call it the rollercoaster. Please don't think that you're going crazy your body and mind are reacting to the trauma that you're going through and it's a rough ride.
No. You should not believe one word out of your WHs mouth right now because he has proved himself to be a liar, and liars lie. Look at actions, not words. Words are cheap at this point. And frankly, I think that deep down you know that two adults who meet after work and who are attracted to each other, are not satisfied in just "talking" and spending time with each other that does not involved sex. I think that you have to assume, for your wellbeing, that they did have a PA. It just doesn't make sense that they did not. Unfortunately, that means that you need to have STD/HIV tests run on yourself and he needs to have them run on him as well. You will need to see his results in writing or by his doctor reporting directly to you. You cannot trust his word on this because liars lie. I am so very, very sorry.
Please. Be gentle with yourself. Eat what you can. Stay hydrated. Rest when you can. Treat yourself as lovingly as you would if your BFF was going through this. This is a time for you to be selfish and be kind to yourself.
Please come back often for support. We're all here for you. (((hugs)))
D-Day, June 10, 2012
So, I am asking for those who have more experience. Is it even possible for someone to overstate a relationship out of fear or other psychological reasons?
Please and gently, just get away from whatever toxic reasons you are staying.
Get IN to your own self.