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Newest Member: Saad (61538)

User Topic: What to do
♀ 38207
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 10:43 AM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OW 1 contacted my H via fb last night. We hadn't heard a word from her for 2 years. He realized she wasn't blocked and blocked her. It was obvious she was fishing. Since things between them ended over a year before dday, we never sent her an NC letter. She also recently got engaged to the guy she has been dating off and on for over a decade (they have 6 kids together) including during the time she was sleeping with my H (then only my bf). I have not told the fiancée since idk for sure if they were on or off during the time of the A. Also, she is 7 kinds of crazy and we decided that it was best to protect our family by maintaining NC with her and him and the rest of the rather large extended family. Now that she tried to contact my H, what do we do? Send an NC? Notify her fiancée? Both?

[This message edited by musiclovingmom at 10:44 AM, August 24th (Saturday)]

Posts: 1595 | Registered: Jan 2013
♀ 39971
Member # 39971
Default  Posted: 11:42 AM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi musiclovingmom.
This is just my opinion and I am sure that others may give you better advice:
There was NC for two years, it may just be worthwhile to continue to ignore her.
If it is of comfort, seeing no previous NC was sent, your H might want to send her a brief note telling her not to ever contact him or you ever again since she has no part in your life now. (As to her fiancée, I would send him a message as well if you send one to her. Does he know what he is marrying? It might help him. Also brief message around the NC request.)
Not sure I am the best counsel as I have had a recent DDay ...

[This message edited by AStar at 11:43 AM, August 24th (Saturday)]

Me BS (41)
Him WH (45). EA and possible PA (denied)
D Day 7/21/2013
M 8 years - filing for D

**The cruelest lies are often told in silence- Robert Louis Stevenson

Posts: 115 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: New Zealand
♀ 40166
Member # 40166
Default  Posted: 12:03 PM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What did the FB message say? I think (without knowing the content) that no response at all is best.

My H also has an XAP that is nutty. Her BH knows and we chose not to send her a NC letter due to their collective craziness. We've had contact from both of them and responded only with crickets. Actually, once when the BH left a threatening message on my H's phone we went to he police, but we never respond to them in any way. It seems to have worked, no contact in months.

I think your H blocking her was response enough.

Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.

Posts: 1127 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Canada
♀ 38207
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 3:06 PM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Her message said:
I didnt how's else to warn you be careful of new hired on's ok there not exactly who they say they are make sure you check the truck you driving ok. I still think of you as a friend.

For context, my husband drives a rig up truck for a local oil field company. There is an extremely high turnover rate and new drivers/helpers are hired basically every week.

Posts: 1595 | Registered: Jan 2013
Topic Posts: 4

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